Boris Khaykin  – Roast of Jersey City Mayor Steven Fulop

Boris Khaykin – Roast of Jersey City Mayor Steven Fulop

the man of the hour Steven Fulop. First of
all parking here was a bitch I saw a spot wide open, I turn around
for a second, and it’s a citybike station yesterday I took the train in
you promised to bring change the Jersey City which is good because 15 guys asked
me for it when I got off the path I really want to put on a good show for
all the hard-working citizens that voted you into office but they’ve all been
priced out into Bayonne so I’m gonna try do a show there later. Steven’s dad owned a deli growing up, which is why so full of baloney. No, politics is a dirty game
but Mayor Fulop almost seems too clean he seems like the kind of guy that keeps his boat shoes on during
sex. Steven went to Solomon Schekter the school for nerdy Jews who get picked on
by slightly less nerdy Jews. After college Stephen worked at Goldman Sachs
and then fought in Iraq so he’s helped ruin the economies of two countries after he returned from Iraq he went back
to work at Goldman Sachs if you wanted to finish a job you should’ve just stayed in
Iraq. All right, real political. Steven Fulop’s plan to reduce traffic commissions in
Jersey City is to make it so drive-by shootings are all done on citybikes. he
eliminated plastic bags, that’s coming up, but also raised the minimum wage so you
know maybe grocery baggers will get laid off but at least they’ll live in cardboard
boxes. he’s big on diversity. Steve’s programs for minority and
women-owned businesses ensure that one day everyone regardless of their race
gender or creed will have the same opportunity to bribe him
mayor Fulop’s website claims that he invested in a prisoner re-entry program
but what do he fails to mention is he’s talking about his butthole all right now what it is is when he was
single there were a lot of rumors that he might be gay but let’s face it no
gay mayor would approve of something is ugly and unimaginative as
Journal Square it looks like a five-year-old first skyscraper drawing It’s the only blueprints in the city planners
that we’re done in crayon on construction paper Mayor Fulop painted Newark Ave green so it’s harder to see all the vomit at night. Mayor Fulop is
committed to diversity that’s why he makes sure that the development tax
breaks are given to both Ashkenazi and Sephardic jews and oh dropped the mic on that one Steven is working part-time at Wonder
Bagel. As in I wonder what the best use of the mayor’s time is maybe next you can
work at the path at 9:00 a.m. on Mondays it’s got everything wonderful bagel has
overcrowding and sexual assault allegations but to be fair as soon as he
heard about it Mayor Fulop stood up and asked to work overtime. I kid, of course, he’s a very nice
guy in fact I’d say Fulop is the opposite of Donald Trump because you can’t grab
women by the pussy if you’re not sure where the pussy is

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