[Narrator] Like the forests it roams this bear is both majestic and mysteri- They have a keen sense of smell. Seven times more powerful than a dog’s, and they are notoriously patient in stalking their prey. [Dunk] Deer! Dead guy. Airplane! Hey Paulie, Catch! *Laughing* Hey, Catch! *giggle* Hey, bull!!! Catch!!! *laughing* Thank god there’s a fence there. Oh fuck! It’s a beaver! Wow! Oh-
[Ally] “DON’T LET THAT WOLVERINE” [Dunk] I’ll get him off!
*Inaudible* Don’t worry! I got- I got it! Got ’em! I am a hero. Get the little- there’s a little de- Oh, boy! Oh *laughs* boy! Oh, god! Oh! He- Hey! You know it’s just- Let’s just get in the car Get in. It’s- He’s knocking it over. *laughing* Oh, fff- *laughing* [NPCs] “Ahhh!” “Fuck, it hurts!” “Help me!”
“Help me!” “Kill me!”
“AAAAaaah” *Grunt of pain* “Hey, man! How are you?” [Dunk] Come on, Merle. Get in! Come on, bo- *laughing* What is keeping that helicopter up there? [Ally] “That could have been better.” [Dunk] Is this a new kind of technology? What’s going on over there? I’ma go check it out! What the fuck? Don’t worry! You’re free, now. I saved you. [Radio Voice] “Hostage has been rescued.” [Dunk] No need to thank me. Thank me by enjoying your life. Whoa! Where’d that come from? I think it fell from the sky. Be careful, I mean- Woah! Oh! [Ally] “What is that? Aaah!” *Dog barking*
*Dunkey is laughing* [Ally] “The fucker’s got me!” – “Help!”
[Dunk] Don’t worry, soldier. “Get over here!”
I’ll get you up. [Ally] “I need you.” [Dunk] I got you. *grunt* I just hope that, they don’t throw any more of those. ‘Cause I don’t know who’s doing that. I don’t know what- *laughing* [Ally] “Bear!!!” [Ally] “Bear! Fucking bear!” [Dunk] Yeah, right! Oh! Ok. It is a bear. That is a bear. Ok! Let’s go! Let’s- Shit! *laughing* Water, water! Ok! Ye-ye-ye-yeah! *Phew* Thankfully, guys. Bears cannot swim. [Narrator] The river is a mainstay in their lives. [Dunk] Shit! [Narrator] It provides a highway for this- [Dunk] Oh my god! There’s cows in the road! You idiot truck! Get out of the road! Oh, it’s too late. It’s too late. Godammit. Every single time. Every single fucking- [Narrator] Cutsie and her Cubs, must keep a sharp lookout for the- [Fisherman] Fishing brings a body peace like nothin’ else [NPC] I’m over here! [Fisherman] And don’t we ever need peace in times like these?
*Dogs and people fighting in the background* [Fisherman] Having a moment just to yourself in all this craziness…
*now fighting with guns* well, it’s good for the soul. [Narrator] Already salivating at the thought of the first fish of the season, Teddy is almost overwhelmed by the abundance of food. She hasn’t caught a fish, for more than six months. When she brings up the next fish… the standoff takes a turn in Tuffy’s favor. [Dunk] Who will win, guys? [Narrator] Jewel recognizes Teddy, and she knows that she will not hesitate to attack. She- [Dunk] Oh, shit! Okay. Bear won. [Narrator] Jewel soon has a reminder of the senior bear’s power. [Outro]
♪ “Fun Festival” from the Stardew Valley OST ♪