Ryan: The blue birds are blueeeeeeeeee~ Once in a blue bird SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMEWHE– *laughs* What are we doing today, Sean? Sean: We’re… about 2 cook R: COOKINGGGGGGG BUT NOT REALLY Well, we’re back at it. Since it was requested since like 9 months ago So, the whole point of this show, since it has been such a long time, ‘Cause last time we made our own version of lasagna, the point of the show is- is that it’s not a regular cooking show. It’s cooking, but not really, y’know? S: Da nah nah! R: Da nah nah! Cooking, but not really! Sean actually kinda knows how to cook. He can cook like a bunch of stuff But I don’t S: Kinda R: At all So, in between that’s how we find the Cooking Both: But not really *both laugh* So we’re gonna come up with like recipes and uh, things that you guys can make at home that’s really easy for somebody like me *pretends cutting himself* (RYAN!!) I’m like the standard S: Hoh, dude! *Ryan still trying to cut himself* (Ryan go see a doctor) I’m like the standard S: Oh! R: So there’s gonna be like really easy things to make S: yeah R: but not really *both laugh* So what are we cooking today? S: We decided, because we love Chipotle we’re gonna make some burritos! R: Well, what kind of burritos should we make? S: What is something everybody likes? R: I like cheese S: What about like, pizza? R: That’s it! S: Is that a thing? R: I’m sure…
S: It’s like a Hotpocket! R: I love hotpockets. *Sean gasps* R: Well, let’s figure out how to make this then, we’ve never made this before. R: Oh, you know what we’ll make too? R: If we’re gonna make Pizza Burritos, then we’re gonna make Burrito Desserts. S: Oh! Like the whole- R: So I can do like- R: Yeah, we’ll invite all Greg-guys, and we’ll make like, a bunch of different ones Yeahhh! R: Alright, so, we turned the camera off but Sean and I decided- the main dish is gonna be the pizza burrito, but we’re also gonna do a dessert.. We’re gonna go with a cookies n’ cream AND chocolate mix AAAAAND, we came up with the idea of doing an appetizer S: Yessssss! And what we’re gonna do is- create like little tortilla fries with like little Dorito chips inside of ’em and you can dip in salsa or whatever you want. S: Hey! Ooo, instead of Doritos, you know the Fritos, uh, twisted barbeque ones- R: OOOH! S: You wrap those up with the cheese. R: Ohh! The best! *high fives* GOALS R: Let’s go! S: Let’s go! R: Ahhh! R: Nah we’re still here R: SO, we’re driving to the store, but Sean and I just, we realized- S: We realized something. Both: Haha! R: We don’t how to wrap a burrito correctly. We don’t know how we’re gonna close, like, even if we make those little fries- It’s like, how are we gonna get it to stay closed? We didn’t think this through… Both: Hahaha! S: Ooo, you know, we can just put the cheese in, and act like a glue R: Oh yeah! R: Does that work? S: I don’t know. Will it stick? Both: WILL IT STICK? R: That sounds like a different show Will It Stick, But Not Really? Both: Haha! R: It has to look good, taste good… S: Feel good! R: You could eat something that looks good, tastes good, but it doesn’t make you feel good. S: That’s true, sometimes you feel worse. R: So we’re almost here, so we’re gonna get a bunch of’ “ingredements”. It should be really quick like this *snap* …and then we’re going home- now we’re going home. S: Hahah R: Nah, nah R: So, we have quite the selection here… S: Why is there so much…? S: *wheeze* S: There’s 3 different sizes… R: Oh my gosh, this is gonna be like the fries- S: Yeah R:This could be- Let’s get all of them! S: *laughing* Okay… R: Alright, how much pepperoni’s? I think that’s enough, right? S: Yeah, that should be right? R: Alright well, we’ll figure it out R: Now look at the cheese we found, though. How much more perfect does that get? S: Pizzaaa R: It’s pizza cheese *giggles* R: This is a very important decision Because this is like, the main taste of everything And that is the sauce. Oh! Look, there’s vodka! S: Ohh R: *giggling* Should we get them drunk?*laughs* R: ‘Warm on stove top over steaming spaghetti’, this is spaghetti sauce… Is that what they use on pizzas? I mean, we’ll live and learn, you know? Live and learn. Spaghetti sauce it is. S: *high voice* We’re done shopinggg R: Yep R: spent 100 bucks for this meal S: Oh, dude for real? R: Well, because you’re making so much- S: That’s true R: But if it was only for one person like just you guys, it’d probably only cost like, 10 bucks. R: In real cooking shows you have the right amount, in our show: just guesstimate! R: I smell fart… S: I was gonna say did you fart? R: No! S: That wasn’t me either R: I think- Oh that’s weird, it must be the ghost behind us *GASP* *fart noise* *rap music* Both: Do do do, do do dodo do do *laughter* R: There you have it folks! S: Main entree! S: Appetizer Dessert R: Alright, what do we need? *laughing* I’m assuming we need a pan, right? *quietly* Gotta wash our hands S: Yep, see? R: See-safety first. S: Safety first R: Ready? S: Yep R: BAM! R: -we need more, you think… or is this good? First thing we’re gonna do, get some cheese going. S: I feel like we’re making- a big Lunchables… R: I KNOW! *laughter* R: I love Lunchables S: Me too! R: Let’s pepperoni this bad boy R: This is our experiment burrito S: Yeahhhh So we’ll see how this comes out R: Do we- wait, do we know how to wrap a burrito? S: *quietly behind camera* Do you? Unh unh! *laughter* R: Oh, this is a fat burrito dude S: Dude. This is a little bigger than I expected S: I’m just gonna- push it over
R: There you go! It’s perfectly fine! R: This one will be our test one S: HOO, look at that!
R: That’s GOOD! How did you do that? S: One little lap, and then I brought the sides in, and then you ROLL’ EM UP. Look at that!
S: Easy! R: Wanna try it?
S: Yeah. R: Sean and I made like, a mess up one, so this is going to be our “mess-up burrito” test and see if everything tastes good, ’cause we’re also kinda hungry. *laughter* R: So, you don’t wanna fill it all the way in or you gonna have the mistake, we ended up with …mistake, we ended up with. *laughter* because, we won’t able to roll it so, what we’re trying to do is we’re like only… filling… i mean like, 3 fourths of it, maybe S: I did not do that, I forgot already. *beeping*
*in excitement* S: Oh! *in excitement too* R: It’s ready! S: Goes in the test one! S: Oh, what is this in here? R: What? S: There’s cake in here! R: Oh! *both laughing* R: Who put that in there? Damn, we gotta toss that! That’s so old, that’s from like a month ago. S: Oh my god! Dude, that thing must be so dry now. [beep] R: So for you folks at home, what you wanna do first.. is.. lay down your tortiLLa, layer it a little bit with a marinArA S: [imitating Ryan] Marinara R: Put some cheese-a-rilla [laughs] then you put som PEPPERONI! S: And then you roll ’em up! R: Damn, we have eight already? S: Yep. R: HOhHHhhHh! [pidgin] Look at us! Could work at Taco Bell. [both laughing] S: Taco Bell! R: Do we need more than twelve? [timer alarm goes off] [Sean gasps] S: It’s done! R: Oh! Hot! [Sean laughing] R: Hot! Test how it feels.. Well, you’re not gonna eat it this way, but we – let’s just try it. Mm.. definitely not warm yet but bomb! S: It’s bomb? R: That’s good, dude! [Sean laughs] R: I mean it’s not quite bomb yet, but it will be bomb! S: Mm..kay! R: Try it, try it. R: its not bad huh? S: Dude if that cheese melts.. it will be perfs *both giggle* R: I’m not one to toot my own horn S: I know R: TOOT *both laugh* R: alright so we are pretty much done with our burritos S: So now we’re tryna fffffff- appetizer things R: appetizer chip things We got these S: Ooh, so, R: Fritos with the barbecue things?