Dane Cook – Working at Burger King

Dane Cook – Working at Burger King


FIRST JOB I HAD. BURGER KING. [woman laughs] [mocks laugh] [laughter] I’LL COME UP THERE, MA’AM. MY BROTHER GOT ME THE JOB TOO. MY BROTHER GOT ME THE JOB. MM-HMM. HE WAS THE MANAGER,
AND HE GOT ME THE JOB. YOU THINK THAT WOULD BE COOL,
YOU KNOW, BECAUSE HE’S MY BRO, BUT HE WAS A [bleep]. [laughter] HE THOUGHT HE WAS
THE BURGER KING. YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING? HE WOULD PUT ME ON DRIVE-THRU
EVERY NIGHT. WHY DO PEOPLE INSIST ON YELLING
AT THE DRIVE-THRU? YOU KNOW,
IT’S MODERN TECHNOLOGY. I’D BE THERE
WITH MY LITTLE HEADSET. “HI, WELCOME TO BURGER KING.
MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER?” [shouts]
“WHOPPER.” [laughter] “SIR–” [shouts]
“WHOPPER, NO ONION.
LARGE FRY.” [laughter] “EXCUSE ME, CHEWBACCA? “I’M BLEEDING
FROM THE EARS HERE, PACINO. “LET’S CALM DOWN. “ALL RIGHT. “WE’RE DEALING WITH FOOD,
NOT MISSILES HERE, GOVERNOR. NOW, DRIVE AROUND!” [laughter] I WOULD RATHER
HAVE HAD PEOPLE YELL. IT WAS WHEN PEOPLE
DIDN’T TALK LOUD ENOUGH. THAT DROVE ME CRAZY. YOU KNOW,
TEN CARS OUT THERE. I’D BE LIKE, “HI, MA’AM,
MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER?” [muffled, squeaky voice] “MA’AM, HELLO,
CAN I HELP YOU?” “I’LL HAVE THE PICKLES
AND THE SHAKES, “THE SHAKE AND PICKLES, “THE LARGE SHAKES
AND THE PICKLES AND THE PICKLES
AND THE PICKLES.” “ALL RIGHT, MA’AM. “APPARENTLY, YOU WANT
SOME PICKLES.

100 thoughts on “Dane Cook – Working at Burger King”

  1. "Dane Cook sends his brother to prison" from Your Mom's House is one of the recommended videos. ha! Dane got screwed though, for real.

  2. This is why the life expectancy of white american males is falling and will continue to fall. You are fucking retards who blow cancer dogs, eat brain pills with your ass and have a 15.6% food poisoning rate because you love, love, love gay chicken pizza @. Also the fuck is this dude doing with his vest and clown trousers like some shoe shine johnny?

  3. It’s crazy how much hate Dane Cook had to deal with. No other comic other than Carlos Mencia was treated the way this guy was but at least Mencia deserved it. If you’re a Dane Cook hater like I was, look up his life story and see if it doesn’t change your mind. While we were hating him he was barely hanging on to basic human existence. I never would have believed it, but the guy really did deserve better.

  4. This was from 2005. I believe this was his first comedy special that got him into making a few more movie deals and contracts for the other 2 rather more successful stand ups. His 4th standup in 2008 or 2009 wasn't so successful and that was his downfall. He spoke about relationships throughout the entire thing and looked like he had run out of ideas. This was sure funny but it's pretty outdated now looking back at these jokes. Kinda like with Pablo Francisco

  5. It got to a point where you sort of knew there was little chance of him coming back with good material. What people didn't know at first were stolen jokes early on eventually word got around.

  6. I miss this version of Dane Cook. His jokes were gut-bustingly (I know this word doesn't exist) funny. Unfortunately, he got in a ship and it sailed off, never to return.

  7. I remember when he was at his height of popularity and It seemed like I was one of the few saying he sucked. Finally people came to their senses

  8. I don't think I'm alone when I say this guy was the funniest comedian on earth at the time, back when I was in middle school.

    He was on top of the world for a bit. Got movie deals and huge specials…but now I've realized how unfunny and overrated he was.

  9. dane cook saying his brother is a dick here. fast forward 15 yrs and his brother is literally robbing from him. dane put him in jail.

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