Donald Trump’s Twitter Gets Roasted By Jonathan Pie

Donald Trump’s Twitter Gets Roasted By Jonathan Pie

Don’t you just hate it when the
news does this. You know, “After that particularly
in-depth and complex look “at the Brexit negotiations,
let’s see what Twitter has to say. “Well, Dave Biscuits from Chester,
says he thinks Brexit is made
out of gravy.” You know? If ever the news goes to Twitter,
it means some editor somewhere couldn’t be fucked to do his job
that day – it’s lazy journalism. But it is easier for us to trawl
through Twitter and find someone that is saying something that
fits our editorial narrative, than it is to find and interview
someone who might actually fucking
know something. “Oh, let’s see what Twitter
has to say.” Who gives a shit?
But what is Twitter, I hear you ask,
if you’re under 25, over 50, or in a loving,
meaningful relationship. Well, Twitter is an online
forum where you post messages up to a maximum of 280 characters. That’s it, really. It’s a way for people to connect,
express ideas and opinions, to share and read news articles from
across the globe, no matter where they live. But more
than anything, it’s something to do whilst taking a dump. So… Let’s see…
Is this up and running? Yes. Perfect,
OK, this is my Twitter account. My last tweet,
for example, was, erm… LAUGHTER All right, just get rid of that. LAUGHTER
Sorry. Basically, you vomit your
opinion into cyberspace. And you see what happens. Normally, someone throws
some shit back at you. Before long, it’s just a monsoon
of vomit and shit. That’s Twitter, in a nutshell,
really. But, OK, for those of
you who don’t know, this is what it looks like. Oh, that’s my, that’s my wife. And her new husband. LAUGHTER I would show you his account,
but he’s blocked me, so… Oh, that’s my son!
Aww. Oh, they’ve changed
the kitchen, I see. LAUGHTER Sorry. Anyway… Sorry. Yeah, where was I?
Yes, Twitter. Yes, yes, there is one reason
and one reason alone, OK, why you should all be
on Twitter and it’s this man. Now, there we are… Actually, actually, just before I
get started, I have been taking a few liberties with the language.
For that, I apologise. But can we kind of start again
for Trump? Can we kind
of reset the fuck button? Cos, I’m going to need some
heavy artillery. You know what I mean?
I’m about to go nuclear. All right.
So, hold on to your hats. All right. OK. Donald Trump, he’s a *****, isn’t he? CHEERING Donald Trump loves Twitter.
He fucking loves Twitter. He calls it an incredible tool,
which, coincidentally… LAUGHTER You’re ahead of me. You’re ahead
of me. Seriously, follow… Follow him on Twitter,
he’s a fucking comedy genius. This one was from about a week ago. Pretty standard stuff. That’s all you need to know.
That’s all you need to know. This is the sort of shit he’s
tweeting about. This is what he’s tweeting about at 4.28am. Oprah fucking Winfrey. Bullshit,
bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. But this is my favourite bit. “Hope Oprah runs, so she can be
exposed and defeated, “just like all of the others.” He sounds like Skeletor! LAUGHTER “..Oprah runs, and she can be
exposed and defeated…just like all
the others!” Sometimes they can be less poetic
and erudite and a little bit more
straight to the point. Let’s take a look at this one. “WITCH HUNT!” Aaaah! Witch hunt! Apropos of nothing, witch hunt! This coming from a man who describes
himself as “a very stable genius.” OK, I know that he describes himself
as a very stable genius because he’s tweeted about
it. Let’s take a look. “I went from VERY
successful businessman “to top TV star.” Ooh, look at you. “ president of the United States
on my first try.” “On my first try!” “I think that would qualify
as not smart, but genius. “Dot dot dot…dot.” Just the three,
you fucking genius. Just the three. And a very stable genius at that. “Nah-nah-nah-nah, I win, nah-nah!” This man has access
to the nuclear codes. Sometimes they can be less… ..downright hilarious, and, let’s be honest,
quite insidious, to be honest. Let’s take a look
at this three-part tweet. “After consultation with my generals
and military experts…” which it turned out the next
day was a complete lie, according to his generals
and military experts, “..please be advised
that the United States government “will not accept or allow
dot dot dot dot dot. “Dot.” Just the three, you fucking prick!
Just the three. Allow what? Allow what?
What can it be? We had to wait ten minutes to find
out what the US Army will no longer allow,
took him 10 minutes to write
the next 20 words. That’s two words a minute, and some
of those words are “and” and “in”. Allow what? What can it be?
What can it be? “..Transgender individuals…”
Ah, so close, I thought he was going to
say “the blacks”, “ serve in any capacity
in the US military.” That’s over 10,000 people being fired without warning by their
commander in chief via Twitter. “Our military must be focused on
decisive and overwhelming dot dot “dot dot dot…” Overwhelming…
“..overwhelming victory.” I’ve got no idea what
he’s talking about there. Overwhelming victory. I mean,
the Afghanistan campaign was a complete disaster because of
all the fucking trannies? No idea. “Cannot be burdened with the
tremendous medical costs “and disruption that transgender
in the military would entail. “Thank you.” “Thank you. Thanks for listening. “Thank you. “Thanks. See you, bye. Thank you.” The president of the United States
has just made a massive change to US military policy without having it checked,
verified, discussed, debated. He has no idea whether it’s legal,
possible, constitutional. The answer to that is obviously
certainly no, it isn’t. By the way, the Pentagon
has roundly ignored Donald Trump’s transgender ban,
so fuck you, Donald. Comes to something, doesn’t it, when
you’re celebrating military generals ignoring orders from their democratically elected
commander in chief. What a world we live in. But the main thing you learn from
Donald Trump’s Twitter account is he doesn’t give a shit.
He doesn’t give a fuck! He takes no care over grammar
or spelling and sometimes he doesn’t even understand the word
he’s trying to spell, and sometimes
he makes up new words altogether. He has trouble with there, their and
they’re, as well as to, too and two, which as we all know is
key stage three. And he can’t spell tap! He can’t spell tap. Now, you might say I’m being
a pedant, being a snob. He can’t spell, it’s fine,
I can’t spell, but I’m not the president
the United States with a writing staff of dozens,
which he thinks he doesn’t need. That’s why every time Donald Trump
tweets he is expressing his contempt for the electorate.

100 thoughts on “Donald Trump’s Twitter Gets Roasted By Jonathan Pie”

  1. Okay. Loved it. Though the trans bs is cause gender disforia is a mental disability. If you can't go into the arm forces if you have flat feat. You can easily hide other disorders like depression.

  2. He is still far left…his criticism isn't against mass migration, replacement and extinction. Anyone who doesn't speak out against this is part of the problem!

  3. I get this, I am one of the few that doesn't fall for divide to conquer, but lets be fair, Trump may be a bruit and whatever he is really, but ain't the fact that he raised jobs in African-American community far more important than these kind of flaws he has? Here they just did what mainstream media did, when diverting attention with nonsense bashing, like the burgers he eats or the shoes Melania takes to a disaster in Puerto Rico…not to mention that the vast majority of people I see commenting in the web doesn't care for accurate grammar whatsoever, and I bet many of them were laughing in the audience… damn, you can even use more dots to denote a bigger pause…I love Pie and the fact that he bashes both sides, but this is pretty petty……………………………………….
    break the math if you want, it's not just my opinion.

  4. Trumpiana / Political Satire:

  5. Very funny . However no way 30,000 transgender military, maybe gay, lesbian and transgender. Nobody cares or bothers much about gay and lesbians there anymore.

  6. Great interview with Tom Walker( JP ).

  7. "Their democratically elected commander and chief" fun fact: the United States is by no means a democracy; the vote of the people is not at all representative of who becomes a member of the senate or the congress, the Founding Fathers believed that the will of the people should not be what decides how the country is run, and additionally, the word "democracy" is no where in the Constitution of America. Not a mention, not a reference. Nothing. The United States of Amercia is not a democracy.

  8. And he gets better results than people that can spell and are all nice and PC. Enjoy him while he lasts. The next president will speak all nice and f up the country if the left has anything to say about it. Hopefully Though Candice Owens will run. If you don't know her …

  9. Hey look!
    A left leaning journalist who's making fun of Trump WITHOUT disingenuously calling him Hitler or a Nazi…
    you don't see that everyday…

  10. I like Jonathan but Trump is only acting like that on tweeter for the clout. It's just a political game to lower himself to the ordinary person, who tweets all the time and talk like some old country folk, I thought Jonathan would see through this.

  11. I wouldn't say he was democratically elected. The truth has, again, been made apparent that the only real democracy in America is in electing the federal legislature, and state and local elections. The way in which we elect the President is NOT Democratic… it's a myth.

  12. Silly bitter man with opinions whitch are a failure since 1920 to a moder world. And ot speaking about Trump.

  13. If Trump did not have twitter to get his message out you would have no idea what he has to say because the MSM just throws lies around about him, and even when they are caught doing so they dont feel the need to apologize, and even if they do it is done days, if not weeks, later, when most people have forgotten all about it. This audience is 100% snowflakes, Trump is THE best President the USA has had in decades unlike the stupid wastes of space running the UK into the ground.

  14. 4:15, just thought I'd note that it was not in fact his first try. He tried in 2000 for the Reform Party nomination.

  15. Snowflake Trumpanzees who watch this video in slack-jawed disbelief need to know that most of the civilized world would consider this a fairly mild criticism of The Donald. Continental Europe generally considers him to be mad as a hatter. And believes that the American electorate are even madder for having chosen him for President. Most of Asia suspects that the real POTUS is kept carefully hidden somewhere in the hills of Maryland or Virginia, surreptitiously running the country while Trump distracts everyone's attention with his clowning. They aren't quite sure why the Americans would want to play such a bizarre trick on the rest of the planet but some of them imagine it might be to keep potential assassins or terrorists away from the actual head of state.

  16. 5:20 well, in 20 minutes the algos can perform a lot of transactions, while people wonder or panic…

  17. i mean to be fair i get my there their and they'res wrong most the time and i'm pretty sure i don't have low intelligence as trump

  18. Boris is the Chosen One. Everything He says is the literal Word of God. If God wants a No-Deal Brexit then so be it… If The Divine Blessed Apostle Boris and His billionaire friends manipulate the democratic process to profit mightily from a No-Deal Brexit of their own making then it is because they are the Blessed. If any doubt or go against the Word of The Divine Blessed Apostle Boris they go against the Word of God and they will lose their mortal souls and will burn in lakes of fire and brimstone in Hell for eternity. There is no God but God and The Divine Blessed Apostle Boris is His messenger. Oh unbelievers, get down on your knees and beg mercy and forgiveness from the Lord God and His Chosen One, The Divine Blessed Apostle , Boris Johnson

  19. You can do another .. Trump doesnt just think he is a genius … he thinks he is now chosrn by God!!!! Actually might even be God … seem to remember something about the second coming …

  20. I used to respect Jonathan, can't believe he's been taken in by all the bs the US liberal media coughs up about trump 24/7, I thought he was better than that.

  21. We do have a long tradition of what we call "politisches Kabarett" in Germany, wich is what Jonathan does, but we don't have anybody here that is so spot on….

  22. Every soldier should have to wear a rainbow codpiece is that the army you want ,can't go into battle look at my hair and my glitter has fallen off

  23. Trump is no genius. But he's not stupid- he's a great conman, and that takes some intelligence. The real sub-geniuses here are the Americans who voted for him, and continue to support him.

  24. Although this was all exceptionally amusing and mostly on target the funniest thing stated here was the claim that Trump was democratically elected…

    Oh…god…my sides…🤣😅😂

    That piece of shit was installed like a bad muffler.

  25. "WITCH HUNT!" I think he was binge-watching Salem on Netflix one night and got a bit carried away. It's a great show. Shit ending but great show for the most part.

  26. THANK YOU for pointing out his misuse of the ellipses! It drives me crazy and nobody ever mentions it. "JUST THE THREE!"

  27. This shows why the U.S. should consider Britain is our enemy. A spy and and ambassador from that sad little island tried to overthrow a duly elected President. They are trying to throw out 17.5 million votes of their own people. GB is not and never had been a democracy. We beat you twice and bailed you out twice so stay out of business you sad little man from a sad little country where you are subjects and not citizens.

  28. dear bbc, can we have the full show please – i dont live in your fine nation, but i would "purchase" shows like that – if you even offered the option to us pesky little eu-mainland-losers

  29. it was a good thing
    banning trans people from
    the military
    they would go and sign up
    get there sex changes
    and have the government
    pay for it
    not good

  30. Great to see Comedy Master Chef Jonathan Pie demonstrating the Art of Roasting! Not long to go now until 'Thanksgiving Day' in the USA, on the fourth Thursday of November. I can smell the Donald Turkey roasting already, along with his old buzzard supporter from Kenturkey Senator 'Moscow' Mitch McConnell. Mmmm, Ummm!

  31. Love you Jonathan well done mate you deserve all your success! Hope you come to npton so i can get to see you at last don't worry it will be only over night lucky you

  32. Transgender people are suffering from a severe mental illness and require help, not encouragement in their delusional disorder by cynical politicians and Soros-owned pharmaceutical companies and for the reasons Donald has stated, I’m not actually against his transgender ban, for the same reason I’m not against schizophrenics being banned from the military. But, as Jonathan says here, he has still dismissed countless people from their job via social media without warning, without giving them time to make alternative arrangements. By the way, the Pentagon has since approved Donald Trump’s decision but he still should have given some warning before making such a radical announcement.

  33. When Pie was reading out the "On My First Try" tweet
    his tone reminded me a lot of the sneering character of Rick from The Young Ones
    iconic tbh

  34. Jeez, when you think about it, it's pretty goddamn weird to have a staff of writers and not use them. If I were President, I'd rant to the college interns and have them translate my ravings on Twitter.

  35. Although trump has the nuclear code, I would like to think the guy stood next to him has a 9mm and is ready to double tap Donald at the nod of head.

  36. I know y’all are probably sick of Trump and Americans by proxy most likely. However, please do consider that the majority of us hate him even more than you. Put yourself in a reasonable educated Americans shoes for a moment. I Didn’t vote for the tacky Caligula wanna be gangster or support him. You think it’s bad dealing with him internationally? Well it’s doubly f***ed living in a nation under his tiny grubby thumb.

    Just imagine how embarrassing it is to be American right now? Plus now I have to worry drumf won’t even leave after 8 years and how he has systematically f**ked every part of our government? The overwhelming that he betrays our allies and that he works against our country by selling us out to our enemies for his own narcissistic agenda. To add to that the embarrassment that the Republican party has become, that they are little more than a bunch of groveling dogs. They have become bloody cowards who will do ANYTHING to get some praise from their leader or worse still quake at the possibility of earning his wrath.

    It’s only thanks to career civil servants that he is even being impeached now. Who also still have to reasonably fear for their own life from their own employer the US government. The one consultation I have is that IF we make it out of this monster’s grasp the Republicans have well and truly f**ked themselves. They have betrayed everything they stand for.

  37. Naw, i see the funny part in the show for the funny sakes….. but honestly u have no clue really how it all connected, i been following DJT, since he took office….
    Im not american, but i know when i see bolluks and act on it…
    Trump is a scapegoat of dimensions, the new impeachment is just a HOAX/SCAM from the lefties, to try and prevent him from winning in 2020. They absolutley got nothing to impeach at all… It is a Kangaroo Court of mofos, trying to overthrow a duley elected president.
    But on a posetive note, it all just make Trump stronger on election day, they really dont see it helps him get re-elected.
    The mass majority of americans RUN from democrats parties now, and are fed up with the way they use taxpayers money to go on a WITCH HUNT!!!

  38. I am an expert too now Jonathan [Not altogether by choice as well] in being a helicopter mother [of the gentle kind] after becoming a non-custodial parent twice for 4 biological children. Maybe you could give me some pointers on how to have good stage presence too.

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