Dan: It’s time to move on to segment number two. We don’t- (crash sound effect) Arin: Well I don’t know if this is gonna be segment two, ’cause the Lego one might be a whole episode. D: Well, segment two could mean episode two. A: … Segm-episode two! Are you excited for our segment today? D: Yeah! A: Dan, do you like cooking? D: Oh, thank God, I thought you were gonna say, “Do you like smegma?” I love cooking! A: Do you like cooking with me? D: Of course I do. What are we gonna do? Holy shit. A: It’s an Easy-Bake Ultimate Oven™! D: I can’t believe it. A: I don’t know how this works… D: I don’t know either. A: Do you want any help with that?
D: No. A: This was sent to…uhh Matt and Ryan, g-our Game Grumps editors, to promote the game Battle Chef Brigade. Um, but I asked if I could use it, and they said yes. Not Adult Swim, they didn’t say anything so they might be upset. D: *grunts* This is gonna be our… our sustenance right here. Vanilla frosting mix. D: Okay, excellent. A: Sugar crystals. D: Excellent. A: Ooh!
D: Oh… A: Easy to use. D: They’re like neosporin, but you can eat it… Ah, don’t use your teeth as a tool, man. That’s not a good idea. A: Oh, it’s sweet. D: It’s good. A: It’s very sugary… and kind of plasticy, it’s a little plasticy… (smacking and disgust sounds) There’s a bad after-taste. D: *ehhh* Is it noticeable?
A: Is it blue? A: What we’re gonna be making today is the brownies. D: Oh, what if we just eat this? A: Uhh, cooking pans to be hand washed and towel dried only. Cupcake pan “not included.” Are you- what the fuck? We’re supposed to be making this! *Dan fucking dies* What did you? What even? (indistinguishable muttering) Did you eat the brownie mix? We’re not gonna be able to make brownies! You’re gonna make yourself sick, Dan! D: (coughing) A: Are you okay? D: It’s behind my eyes.
A: We got that.
D: It burns. It really burns.
A: Throw away the trash. Plug in your easy-bake ultimate oven and turn it on preheat for 20 minutes. D: 20 minutes!? (music) D: Dude your teeth are so pink, are you eating more of that frosting? Me neither. Hey Vernon! (Arin gagging and dying) (disgusted crying noises) It’s so gross. You rea- it really tastes like plastic. (making music with ingredients) Come mister tally man, tally me banana! Come, mister tally man, tally me banana! You’re supposed to say “daylight come and I wanna go home.”
D: Oh. (They try and fail miserably) (music) Ow!
D: I know, it burns. What’s next, Arin? Uhh, spray the baking pan with cooking spray. A: Do we have cooking- (disgusting noises and then spitting) Throw that in there. All of it? Yeah, all of it. M’kay. D: Teaaaaaa-
A: Boooooop! That’s a teaspoon right? D: Yeah, how many do we need? A: One and a half… teaspoons. D: Well then throw in a half a teaspoon! A: Well, I don’t have a teaspoon! D: Here wait…
A: That’s too much!
D: That’s just how much you- g- it’s… A: Dan that’s too much, what are you doing you it’s too much!!? Stir and press the mixture together until it’s thick and doughy. That’s not- you need that to- I can use this. Where has- where has this been? ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°) D: Arin, I told you that you need more water. That’s what happens when-
A: NO It’s not happening! D: Get your fuckin’ nasty hands out of there. A: I’m not touching it with my hand. Do you see it on my hand? I do, I do, I do. It’s all mixed dude. Ah shit.. D: Okay.
A: Don’t ask what happened.
D: There- there we go, there we go. A: That’s too much.
D: No it’s not, here. A: There’s too much water in this, dude. D: No, that’s perfect! A: It’s so, it’s so goopy! D: That’s perfect! Hey, you got chocolate all over your hands you should give this to me. A: Alright yeah… Sprinkle flour on your hands and roll mixture into the ball. Split the ball. A: We don’t have flour! D: Do we have flour? A: No! Alright, skip that part. A: You put too much water in it. D: Yeah. A: That’s what ha- That’s what happens when you put too much water in an easy-bake oven! D: Absolutely the problem. Vernon looks disgusted. Press each ball down using the palm of your hand to make six flat cakes. If needed put a drop of water on your finger and smooth out any cracks- see! Extra water! I need to flatten it cuz I think it needs to- D: Place the pan into the baking slot. A: Really? Already? Do you want me to do it? Um? You need to use the wand. Oh. A: So go ahead and do that. You gotta- you gotta put it on the tray first. You gotta put it on the- Dan I’m sorry. Did you want me to cook or not? A: You have to put in hamburger, not hot dog. Hamburger! Yes all the way. Yes good. Good boy, good boy you’re learning. Ah.. Bake for 12 minutes. 12 fucking-? Again we gotta wait for this shit!? (intense arguing) We definitely needed flour. (laughter) This is not gonna work. The only thing left as far as instructions goes- ’cause this part was ripped off- to do the frosting is “water into a smooth” (laughter) In the meantime we’re gonna make our frosting A: Yeah, it’s delicious. D: Okay… D: All of it? A: Yeah- no not all of it, just- NO it’s a teaspoon at best! D: That felt like- A: That was like 3 tablespoons! D: No- no, a teaspoon is like (unintelligible explaining) It’s the time it takes to say the letter T. A: Dude- D: when you’re pouring- A: You’re making me fuckin’ sweat. A: Is it looking good? D: It’s looking hot for teacher- Oh. I think that’s good.. A: Set it on the cupcakes when they’re done. A: So- D: I think we did good. Just the experience alone of cooking with my friend Dan… D: That is good. Is really just like enlivened my spirits. Mine too. Okay. Dan, hold on… I think you got a little- NOOO (laughter) Do you think this is a laughing matter? I think- I think these are ready, right? A: Well, you got to use the other side of it. You got to use the other side of it, Dan. Has it been 12 minutes or whatever? D: I don’t know. And now… We’re cool… ing. A: But you don’t know if they’re finished yet, if they’re done. D: Oh, they’re finished. You’re not done cooling yet. It’s probably done. It’s probably still hot. Oh, I think I pushed it back- NO A: You grabbed it. D: We got it! A: Wow look it looks like real cookies! D: Alright, and now- A: for the finishing touches. A: Mm mm mmmm… D: Just like mama used to make! A: Wow! I can’t wait to get a load of that! Here, let’s put a little let’s put a little color on there. D: Of course. A: To make it extra special Here we go. That one’s red. D: Oh, good stuff! And don’t forget the rainbow sprinkles. Is it too hot to hold? No, it’s actually freezing cold. A: Let’s give it a- give it a good go. D: You can have the first one. (laughter) It’s delicious. Thanks, Easy Bake. Lemme just- I’ll give this a shot. Oh, oh it is hot in certain parts. Let me get some flavor crystals on there. (laughter, death, and suffering) But wait, Dan! You didn’t- you you- you gotta try it with the sprinkles. This is just like grandma’s old recipe, this is just like the brownies that grandma used to make. (laughing) God! It’s fucking scorching hot! But only in certain parts. Why?! Don’t spill that brownie. Mmm… (disgusting and disgraceful noises) D: .Here into the- into the cup. AWH!!! Okay… A: (suffering) Mmmhmmmhmmm! (laughter) A real good time. Thanks for- (sputtering) BAM A: Man, that’s just delicious as it gets. D: I think my finger made contact with the- with the sludge. Hey, if you want that last brownie just write- send us a self-addressed stamped envelope and we will put it will pop in there and put and take it down to the post office. Well, thanks for joining us! BLEGH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BLEGH (coughing and spitting oh GOD) (laughter at this gorgeous sight) It’s Easy to Bake™! Hey, so thanks for joining us on the 10 Minute Power Hour from Game Grumps. You guys might be wondering what we’re doing next on the episode, so the fuck are we! We don’t have any idea what the hell this show is. D: We don’t know. A: We just sat and we set up a set and sat in front of it and talked and did ~stupid shit~ What do you think we should do? Let us know in the comments! (burp) Excuse me. (laughter) You look like the stupid Hunger Games. (laughter)