Granny’s Cooking Class #4 – Salad Basics

Granny’s Cooking Class #4 – Salad Basics


Hello InnerTubers – basic cooking lessons
again. Let’s make salad um yum yum yum. [upbeat music over opening sequence] Now for some of you, this information is
incredibly basic, but I had four separate requests from people, and they all wanted
to know how to do some really basic sh*t. So, well, Granny’s your girl. So I have a
basic question for you: is it salad if there’s no lettuce? Uh who the f*ck cares,
right? If you like it, eat it. That’s all that’s important. That’s my number one
rule about all cooking, remember? If you like it, it goes in. If not, f*ck it! I
suppose the other half of that question is: what can you put in it and still call
it a salad? Again, the same answer. Whatever the f*ck you want. Now you know
every time I do one of these videos, I get any number of people who write to me
and say “oh I would never put that in a salad” “oh I would never put that in a
salad” “Well, how can you call it a salad if you don’t put that in it?” Here’s my
answer. If you have special sh*t that you like, put it in it. If there’s sh*t you don’t
like, don’t worry about it, and don’t worry about what anybody else thinks.
It’s your food, you’re cooking it, you’re alone, do whatever the f*ck you want. This
is one of those times when it’s really cool to be by yourself. Making salad
actually starts when you go shopping. Last night while I was out getting stuff
for this video, I took some shots of the mile and a half (or at least it seemed
like it) of produce sh*t all over my store and then of course there were separate
bins in the middle. You could just buy the whole thing and end up eating salad
for the next 653 years. The number one thing to remember
as you go through the grocery store is to buy what you like. These happen to be
my favorites. I really like red leaf lettuce because it’s really soft and you
don’t have to wrestle it when you want to eat it. And I love iceberg lettuce
which actually doesn’t grow well at home. You take off the outside bits that are
kind of wilty and brown and then you get to the crunchy part, and that’s the part
I like because a good bit of having a salad is having a sensory experience
while you eat. I said sensory. Pay attention. Now you could go all
traditional with just a tomato and some cucumber and a carrot or you could get
all kinds of funky extras. Look at this. There’s nuts and sh*t and
things, and there’s all kinds of cheeses, and there’s all kinds of meat, and
there’s all kinds of foo-foo fancy gourmet sh*t you can put in it – even tofu
if you like that sh*t. And of course you know me if you’re gonna have a fruit
salad, well you have to have pineapple and yes you can mix lettuce and fruit. It’s
just fine. In fact, you can take one of these big leaves and you can put your
fruit inside it and you can roll it up and be like a little lettuce burrito.
Very refreshing in the summer, don’t you think? You’re gonna put some dressing on
that sh*t, right? Of course you are! What do you like? Are you the creamy type? Are you the oil and vinegar type? Are you the simple type
just some lemon and salt and pepper? Remember to pay attention to what you like to eat
whether it’s been at home or in a restaurant or in a college dorm or out
at a dinner party. Do what you like. That’s what’s most important. For the sake of this video, I’m gonna do a very simple oil and vinegar and lemon salad
dressing cuz it’s very light and it’s summer and who the hell wants something
that weighs seven tons in your belly? Not me! When you go to the store, if oil and vinegar is your choice, don’t get all
freaked out about all the different kinds of vinegar. There’s rice vinegar.
That’s generally kind of sweet – got a little bit of tart to it. And then
there’s white apple vinegar or red apple vinegar and that’s very very very bitter. [pucker noises] and then there’s balsamic vinegar which is kind of a mix of the two. It’s a
little bit sweet. It’s a little bit tart. But the cool thing about it is it’s kind of sticky so it’ll marry the lettuce. It just kind
of snuggles close and stays right on the lettuce leaf. In terms of oil, you don’t
have to get all fancy fancy foo-foo gourmet. Oh, no, you don’t need that EVOO
(that’s extra virgin olive oil). No, all you need is something that’s
gonna stick to the lettuce and make love to it. One little caution about buying
dressings in the store. Don’t be fooled into thinking that you’re gonna eat salad
every week if it’s not really your thing. You don’t want to find salad dressing in
your refrigerator two years after it’s out of date. Making a salad is really
pretty easy. If you don’t have a lot of tools, don’t worry about it. I happen to
have a salad spinner that I bought, oh, I don’t know, I was probably in my 40s, but
if you don’t have one, don’t worry about it. Paper towels would do the job. The key
is to wash your lettuce. I didn’t, well rinse your lettuce, don’t wash your
lettuce, don’t put any soap on it. You know what soap does if you eat it? Look
it up, guys. Goggle it. It’s not pleasant. Hey guys, I do have a little tip back
from the days 30-40 years ago when I was first buying Tupperware. I learned how to
take the core out of a head of iceberg lettuce. You mash it against the sink
really hard. You just punch the f*ck out of it. You do not do this to people,
however. No no no no! I understand there is a big debate about whether or not you
cut lettuce or you tear lettuce. For me, it comes down to time and ease. I do not
want to sit and tear. I’d rather just chop the f*ck out of it with a knife. You know like bam bam bam every aggression out – gone – and I never have to get upset
about anything after that. There’s a fun little wiki article linked down in
the description if you wanna check it out further. Number one piece of importance when cutting up your lettuce is to keep everything bite-sized. There’s nothing worse than trying to put an elephant-sized piece of lettuce into a
human mouth. And in terms of romaine – no ribs! Never ribs in my f*cking salad.
Romaine is rubbish as far as I’m concerned . Absolute rubbish! If you want
to toss your salad in the dressing before you eat it rather than pouring it
on top, then use a bigger bowl than what you’re gonna eat out of. If you’re
at home alone, doing your own dishes, then just eat out of the big bowl. Man go
all-in! Face-first! Go for it! Salad! YUM! Pretty much down to
the last decision about the salad you’re gonna make. Is it just for you for one
meal? Are you having guests over? Or or do you want to have extras
that you could take to work or to eat tomorrow? I promised you that I was going
to show you about having guests over for salad and right here you can see we’ve
got all kinds of fun little ingredients in little bowls with a little spoon and
let everybody pick what they want on their salad. That way nobody gets upset
and starts picking sh*t out at the table, which is really gross manners really
really really gross manners. Oh, and one other thing. If you want to make a full
meal out of this, add some protein of your choice. I don’t care – tofu – chicken –
ham – beef – cheese whatever the f*ck you want. Remember my mantra: it’s your
f*cking salad. Make it however you want it. Because it’s for you. Nobody’s judging
you. I hope you’re feeling super confident
now about being able to make a salad that will please you immensely.
Confidence is a big thing when you’re just learning to cook. And so we start
with the simple sh*t. We’ve boiled eggs, right? We’ve boiled water. We’ve cooked
instant rice. Now we’ve made a salad. Yeah. ‘cuz you’re just – you’re just awesome.
That’s it! You’re just my InnerTuber and you’re awesome. Before you know it, you’re
gonna be confident enough to invite guests over. Show off them cooking skills
like a mofo! You’ll be rockin’ that salad, aren’t you? I’m gonna lay some love on
tinysponsor. They are the first and only platform that’s creator-first to help
influencers and creators like me find brands that want to work with us. If
you’re a creator, you can put together the package that makes sense for you and
then brands can shop you and find you. And if you’re a brand, you can sponsor me
or you can check out the whole of tinysponsor’s page and find another creator
who’s more suited to what it is you have to sell. We do this sh*t because we love
it. And we love our subscribers more than anything, so if we’re gonna work with one
of your products, we’re gonna mean it – and you’re gonna know it. Hook us up! Super quick shout-out to my Patreon grandkids. I love that you continue to follow me
even though I’ve been an absolute sh*t about getting stuff out. I really really
really appreciate your support. I’ve been so crazy busy with acting. I love you
anyway. That’s an extra kiss just for you. Now
the rest of you, whether you’re brand new to me, and this is the first video you ever
saw or you’ve been following me for 3 or 4 years now, please please
please share my video. Find someone else in your community who would love to see
it, okay? And then hit the thumbs up and drop me a comment. Let me know if you
like this kind of lesson or if you know someone who would like this kind of lesson. Don’t give me any sass, okay? No, please
don’t give me any sass. Just give me the love. If you’re a better cook than I am,
and you think you can do a better job, then let’s see you in front of a camera,
okay? Yeah! Meanwhile, everybody everybody whoever watches my videos, you know how I
end them because I love you. [blows kiss] Granny Loves You

95 thoughts on “Granny’s Cooking Class #4 – Salad Basics”

  1. I never used to eat salad, but I decided to give it a try with Olive Garden dressing, and I fell in love with it! I add croutons and a little parmesan cheese. And you’re absolutely right: the key of making a salad is to add what you like. Make the salad your way! Love you Granny 😘

  2. I love your basic cooking videos, I know somewhat how to cook but these are badass videos and I love learning some new cooking techniques

  3. Great tutorial Granny! I'm going to send my daughter to your channel when she leaves for college in a few years :)!

    I'm not a fan of rabbit food but I do make it for my family and whenever we have people over. One of my family's favorite dressings for breakfast salads/salads with fruit is pureed avocado, Greek yogurt, honey, and lemon (optional.) It's sweet and creamy and coats everything nicely. Figured I'd share for anyone reading the comments section. Thanks Granny 🌞!

  4. Hello. I love salads and not putting the sh*t you don't like in it is the only way to go. I like all that ! I also hardly ever use store bought dressings since they are so much healthier and so quick to make yourself. Salad Yum 💗. Thanks 👍😀

  5. “You don’t do this to people, however, no no no no!”

    I look over at my laptop as I’m holding someone’s head against the sink, “Wait what was that last part?”

  6. Hi Granny. I like to prep salad bar ingredients (little glass storage containers) in my fridge so I can make a fresh salad with various, fresh, pickled , or otherwise yummy ingredients all week. I'm too lazy to prep salad ingredients every day. Also, your hair looks great.

  7. Granny, how can I stop my family members and friends from always phoning me every time I try to cook supper? I swear, the moment I take out a pot the phone rings. They then carry on while my pasta is going soggy. Lotsa love, AJ

  8. Love your videos, up lifting. May I make idea suggestion, folding fitted sheets. I use the bunny ear system. I remember when the top and bottom were flat, hospital corners, ironing…ugh. I'm confused about younger kids today. ( some days that's not hard to confuse me.)

  9. How have you not tried to coin the phrase 'Bone-Apa-Tits' yet? Almost seems as it would be a perfect fit for your channel!

  10. my fav salad is arugula, mixed green, cilantro, cooked minced ginger, stir fried tempeh/tofu cubes, sweet potato cubes, chopped avocado, black pepper, powdered coriander and sprinkle of onion/garlic powder. SALAD AF!

  11. How do you make cereal? Milk first then the ceral or cereal then the milk? Help me granny! Mwwwwaaaahhhh! Love you too!

  12. My Mother-in-Law always makes fun of me when I order a pasta dish at a restaurant and get a salad with it. I ask for only lettuce, mozz and black olives…with tons of dressing. She's like, "why not just ask for lettuce? That's not a salad!" So now it's been a joke for years and she loves when I order the salad the way it comes PLUS what I like on it because I put all the tomatoes, carrots, cucumbers and crap I don't like in a little plate on the side for her. I call it the "reject plate"…and she benefits from it.
    #grossmanners #supergrossmanners
    😂 Granny…shout out my Mother-in-Law Rita!! She'd loveeeee it!!!

  13. My favorite salad. A pile of baby greens, crumbled feta cheese, a Sprinkle of Walnut bits, a few grapes and a balsamic vinegar dressing! Heaven!

  14. I learned how to take the core out of iceberg lettuce when I worked at Texas Roadhouse… I just use the cutting board, though

  15. Ok, granny, I’ll promise to try eating more salad. I’m pretty good with cooking but I love your lessons and I always learn something new. *muah!

  16. Ohhh and I’m so happy now I am an adopted digital grandchild! I mean, about time I get that done ! Your videos are such a joy and I feel such a nice connection it felt just right. Love from your officially adopted granddaughter from Brazil!!
    PS share your acting work so I can go watch please!!!
    Love you, granny!!!

  17. You're awesome for doing all this basic stuff. I can do salad but some people can't and there are so many basic things I am so afraid of doing. Granny empowers us scared cookers! Thank you!

  18. Granny, since you recommend pineapple on salad, I'm curious how you feel about pineapple on pizza. I think its delicious! 😋 I love your channel! You're always genuine, entertaining, and don't give a shit about what anyone else thinks. Keep up the great videos! ❤

  19. OMG Granny I love you so fucking much 💖💖😘😘 I died laughing when she stuff that lettuce all into her mouth she always makes my day 😂😂💖💖

  20. Might I add my own tip for fast and easy salad? I get the greens and some chopped bits of stuff I want from the store's salad bar. It ends up being cheaper because whole heads or big containers of lettuce are just too much if you are cooking for one or two–you end up with stuff rotting in the fridge. Plus it saves cutting so much stuff up–who wants to grate carrots–ugh! The items I get in the produce section are only those I can get in quantities/size that are reasonable such as a tomato. And who the hell wants to chop onions and cry over your meal? Feta is a good cheese for salads and you can get a fat free version if you prefer that tastes just as good as the regular plus it saves in the fridge for long enough to not waste any.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *