It’s time for Food Adventure Program For Awesome People! The Ramen Hack Edition! We’re gonna hack that ramen! Imma- I’m gonna take a machete- Simon: You’ll hack the ramen?!
Martina: I’m gonna hack that ramen so good. A long time ago, I did a kind of, Ramen-At-Home Video… Now you have to, whip the egg into some kind of a delicious and soft froth. A lot of people seemed to be amazed by what I added to my ramen. Which I thought was kinda normal, but it turns out it was not normal. So what we wanna do today is we’re gonna head over to a local convenience store And we’re gonna buy a bunch of different ramen, And by a bunch I mean… Two… And show you a couple different ways to make the ramen, We’re gonna show you how to eat ramen like a professional ramen eater. This is how it’s done, so you don’t look like a newbie when you’re in this country! We probably are professional ramen eaters on our free time… [cricket noise] Nanananananana! [singing] Ramen~ Ramen~ I’m gonna get some ramen~ Ramen~ Ramen~ I’m gonna eat some ramen~ Cheese! Cheese! Egg! Egg! Ranch! Ranch! Ra-men~ Okay, so Martina’s a little bit crazycakes when it comes to what she’s gonna add to her ramen. I have a very simplistic approach: Today I’m going with the Ramen Bokki which is a drain-able kind, You have to puncture holes and you have to drain the water and then you mix everything up. The only two things that I’m going to add are very simple: Number one: A slice of cheese. It adds thickness to it. And number two, most importantly… Some ranch. You should never leave home without a bottle of ranch! This one has my name on it. I’m sorry, I just can’t even believe you put that in your jacket with you this whole time and smuggled it here. You are gonna complain. I’m just adding a little bit of ranch! Ramen, ranch, rah-rah! Sis-boom-bah! Simon, I want you to admit you have a problem. I want you to admit it. My problem is that your hands are on my ranch And it’s about to become your problem if you don’t hand that back to me. What are you gonna do about it? You might notice that as soon as you fill your bowl with water, it winds up all the seams coming out What do you do to keep it in place? Here’s a clever trick: you take your chopsticks, without cracking them open you put them over the lid like this So it makes a seal! This is what professional ramen eaters do. Okay? I have just given you the inside stuff. So I didn’t drain all the liquid, you need a little bit of moisture in there, otherwise the packages aren’t gonna work well. First thing you put in is the cheese so that you can still keep some of the warmth in there. Put that cheese inside there, cover the cheese with the noodles so that the noodles can warm up the cheese. This is a really poorly planned video! We’re just in a panic here. Add the rest of the sauces that you’re supposed to add. Add all that bad boy, awww What’s this stuff? In it goes! Oh sh(baaah), this is supposed to- That’s okay! That definitely needed to be hydrated… No, I- I prefer it to be dry and crispy, it adds a texture and crunch… to your thing… [cough] Bullsh(baaah) [cough] Then you add the ranch. How much ranch would you add, would you say? Enough for flavor! Mix it up before everything gets cold… In this cold, barren winter wasteland! This here, ladies and gentlemen, is professionally made ramen. See all that? Look at how delicious that is. Is it good? This is great! Yeah? I usually do this with the cheese bokki, which is like ramen meets macaroni and cheese, and they didn’t have any this time so I used the ramen bokki, Still absolutely fantastic! Still works great with ranch, It’s f(baaah)ing lovely. What does it taste like, Simon? For people who don’t know what tteokbokki and rabokki tastes like. …Yeah… How do you describe the taste of tteokbokki? It’s like vinegary tomato pepper sauce. Simon: Try it.
Martina: It’s got ranch in it. Come on! You’ve never had this before, this is your first time ever! But you ruined it with ranch. Important detail about Martina: she does not like ranch. Get that- on your chin- there you go. Thanks Simon… Actually, you know what this tastes like? Deliciousness. It totally tastes like a- like a- is it margherita pizza? Mar-ha-rita? Margherita. Yeah, it tastes like cheese, it tastes like- you got the tomato sauce, a bit spicy. And then it’s got that creaminess that the ranch is adding, which is actually quite good in there! Yeah guys. Yeah. Alright, I chose my base: Shin Ramen, my favorite. I happen to like reeeally spice foods, so I’m starting with this as a base. I will be adding to it a slice of processed cheese. Then I’m gonna take it to another level, I’m gonna add a pack of kimchi to my ramen. I like to use the old kimchi, because it has a more strong pungent knock-to-your-face kind of taste. You can use fresh kimchi if you want but that’s kind of lame-o. Then Imma level this up even further: bam! This is pretty much freeze-dried squid, and on the back I also read a little bit of hongeo, which kind of scares me, ’cause I’m pretty sure that’s fermented sting ray… But it’s like 40 cents, you just dump it in, bam! Extra flavor! Then I’m going to be adding a hard-boiled egg. Now, these puppies are kind of hard to find. Korea has lots of hard-boiled eggs that have been so hard-boiled you could murder somebody with them. And that are really chewy and, poor Leigh… poor Leigh always tries to find this magic, magic egg. This one is kind of soft-boiled, so the inside is so ooey and gooey but not like runny. This is the puppy you wanna add to your ramen. You wanna add a puppy to your ramen? Not like an actual puppy not like ruff ruff I’m a puppy but like this kind of like puppy of… y’know… what I’m saying. Get out of here, Simon, you’re gonna have your own time to talk! Leigh, could you put in the face of Simon and then add on top of that some kind of like a face thing that keeps him from talking and then maybe a pile of poop on his head? [music] [door creak] [splat] You might think that I’ve gotten a huge amount of things for this tiny bowl, and you’re probably right! [music] Gotta get that juice, man. Gotta get that kimchi juice. “Oh, what about my cheese?” you say? I will be adding my cheese in the last two minutes or so because it’s really cold and if I add it at the beginning it can actually alter the temperature of the water and then my ramen won’t cook as well and I want them to cook really well so I’m gonna add near the end and when it- when it’s actually almost ready to go. That’s my story. [trilling sound effect] [music] Alright, I set my timer for 4 minutes and I told you before I did not add my cheese. But I did unwrap it so it’s ready to go, and I’m going to leave it on top of the lid to warm it. I have discovered that if I’m not at home and on a stovetop if I add the cheese right away it is so cold that as it liquifies it just doesn’t let anything else cook properly. So I just put it on the lid to warm. It’s still in its plastic because it actually will get stuck to the lid when it melts. Not that I know that from experience of melting a piece of cheese to a lid! Not that I scraped the piece of cheese off the lid and put it in my ramen anyway… Alright, I got 2 minutes left on the clock. I’m gonna pop in this slice which is- ooh! Already toasted warm and getting goopy! Whew, it’s in! Alright, timer’s up. Now, important thing, this is gonna be ramen hack #3: You do not throw away your lid! We are going to be using this wonderful lid to help us keep from spilling stuff all over our bodies. Oh yeah, look at that. Look at that egg. Hold this for me? Simon’s version of holding! I won’t lose ’em! Alright, I got my lid, I’m gonna fold it in half, then I’m gonna fold it in half again. Then I’m gonna make a crane! And I’m gonna throw that crane at Simon. And that’s my ramen hack #3! Just joking, just joking. Okay, if I had a bigger bowl of ramen I’d go for this way and what I’d do is I’d just pull this open here… And now I’ve got myself a little tiny waterproof bowl so that when I eat my ramen noodles I can let them cool before I actually let them touch my mouth and scald myself! But, this is a pretty small lid, so I’m gonna go for the Martina version, which is just folding it in half once, And then I just actually fold it in, And I’ve got a bigger bowl to work with. There’s really no wrong way of doing this unless you have a hole at the bottom, in which the broth will leak upon you. I kept them safe! Actually saw some spittle on those chopsticks… I want you to note that Martina’s little cup right here is a professional ramen hack, but it’s not really necessary, As you can see with me, I don’t need a middle man, I don’t need a second bowl, I just dump things directly into my mouth. Martina: Okay- hang on
Simon: My mouth serves as the bowl. A defense in the ramen hack I actually have liquid in mine, so the whole point is that when I scoop up the hot liquid, It gives it a change to cool down. Like a sissy! You’re supposed to just grab the whole thing and chug it! That’s something that Simon might do, because he chews with his mouth open all the time. See? Look. I thought all the junk you were gonna put in there wasn’t gonna be that good but it actually makes it taste a lot better. It tastes amazing, I know. Shin Ramen is good on its own, but the kimchi adds a whole new flavor level. Can I please get my ramen back? It adds a little… punchy pungency to it! And notice Simon is already done with his ramen. I’ve been done for like 20 minutes, I’m bored! How long is this noodle? [whistle] [funk music] Leigh, would you like to try some of my ramen cup? Leigh: Uh-oh… Leigh: I smell a skill testing question. If you don’t want any ramen I understand. Leigh: No, I wanna try some. Okay… Alright Leigh, this is a really tough one because I really love ramen and don’t wanna share this with you. Sing me the tune of any 2PM song. Leigh: ahhh
Martina: Any 2PM song that you want! You can sing it! Any 2PM song! Leigh: uhh? 2AM is unacceptable but 2PM of any age range. Including the Jay Park era of 2PM! But a Jay Park song does not count. Leigh: A.D.T.O.Y is- is- is 2PM, isn’t it? Simon: Correct.
Martina: Can you sing A.D.T.O.Y? Lee: uhh… Leigh: No? Da da da da… do do do…
Simon and Leigh: do do do Don’t encourage her! do do do do do do Don’t encourage her! [coughing] Simon: Give her the ramen! Leigh: That counts, I guess, right? Simon: Winner! Martina: Alright, fine… You’re so nice to me! I don’t- I think you might have to- You might have to just tip this cup back, like- Lee: One shot it.
Martina: One – yeah. Like eating an oyster… Just- chew it up. Simon:Are you retching into Martina’s cup? That’s revolting! Oh my god! Look at- can you please- Simon: It’s like a cat dry heaving! Simon: Into the cup. Leigh, are you choking? Do the international symbol of choking and I will help you. No, she’s just so happy! Simon: I think the cup is now unusable. Do you really want to use that cup anymore? Look, she snotted all over inside of it now! Well, I’ll be sticking to my bowl! You know what? I’m-
Simon: Keep it Leigh: Thanks for sharing, Martina! You’re welcome… Leigh: Thanks for sharing! So, Leigh, what happened there exactly? So that’s it for this week’s Food Adventure Program For Awesome People! I’m sleepy I hope we taught you some very useful professional ramen hacks. Remember the chopsticks, remember the lid cup and remember all the cool things you gotta add to your ramen to level it up. And even if you don’t live in Korea and you can’t add all the cool stuff you can at least add some of it. Like don’t forget that cheese, son. Cheese is vital. Don’t forget that ranch. And don’t try using real cheese ’cause that does not work, let me tell you. Fake cheese is the only way to go for fake noodles.
-All the way. Mmm, processed cheesy goodness…
-Mmmm Gimme that MSG! With the wrapping- I don’t think there’s MSG in cheese… Gimme that… unnatural corn byproducts. Is that inside of cheese? Something… I know the majority of food in America is made out of corn. But we’re in Korea. Yeah, but that’s American cheese. Made in Korea. Yeah! They make it American style! …Don’t they? And put corn in it? [clears throat] No? Guys? [Martina’s ramen song]