Hi, everyone! It’s me. Do you see what’s happening? You’ve probably already read
the title of this video. And, yes. As a Canadian with
literally no baking or cooking skills, I’m gonna try and make scones. But guess what?
(rustling noises) I’m gonna make these scones, which are basically fake scones. I went to Morrisons.
I thought… everybody is always emailing me
about doing another cooking video. Guess what? Here you go. I hope you’re happy. I saw these. It’s literally just a scone mix.
Makes six. You just need to add three items. I can do that! So I thought, on this
beautiful Saturday morning, I’m gonna try and make these things and we can have a little bit of a chat. I can update you on some life things. And just relax. All right? So without further ado, let’s go! Okay. Okay. Umm…yes. Let’s read the instructions.
Maybe that’s a good place to start. I feel like I should have, like,
my own cooking…TV show. And just be like, “Hi and welcome back to
I Can’t Make That. “I’m your host, Alanna, “who’s willing to kill myself
so I don’t have to make these.” Okay, so first we need to
warm the oven to 220. I can do that! The oven is now warming. “Take a knob of butter.”
(laughs) First off… is that an appropriate use
of the word “knob”? Anyway, “take a knob of butter “and use it to lightly grease a baking tray. “This will stop your scones from sticking.” Okay, so I have a baking tray which is looking a little bit worse for wear. And I also have
(phone vibration noise) some dairy free Vitalite. Oh! And I got some notifications. Let’s put that bad boy over there. Okay, so I don’t know
what a knob is, but I’m just gonna
stick my hands in this. If I can open it. Come on.
(snapping noise) Oh, okay. I have washed my hands. Fairly recently. (laughs) So, how’s your day going? I know technically this is not a cooking channel. I know that. You know that. We all know that. But everybody always asks, “when are you gonna do
another cooking video? “I want another cooking video.” Here’s the thing, bud. The cooking videos don’t really get
a lot of views. If you go back and
watch some of them. I mean, within 10,000, I think. Not a lot. Eww! I hate this. Plus, I hate having to
set up here at home. Cause I gotta bring home my ring light. Tripod. Camera. There’s a little mic attachment on there. My ring light doesn’t have a stand so it is balancing precariously on top of a chair. But I thought you know what?
You guys always ask so nicely. I don’t know what that is. Eww. Let’s make some scones.
That…that was my thought process. And if they don’t work… At least I got buttery fingers. Now in terms of, like,
Adventures and Naps, I have been overwhelmed with how… I don’t wanna say successful because I don’t feel successful. But I’ve been overwhelmed on how… somewhat successful Adventures and Naps has been. I started making videos in 2017, sort of halfway through the year. And they weren’t getting views,
but I just kept doing it anyway. Cause I’m so goddamn stubborn. And then 2018 comes around, and I’m actually starting to get, like, serious views on things. And all the stuff that’s come along
with Adventures and Naps, like, it’s just 2018 was… kind of hard to believe. And now it’s 2019. Here I am. At home. I’m gonna make scones from a little scone mix pack. Because people on the internet have actually requested me to do this because they want to watch it. Is that insane? All right, hold that thought. You’re gonna have to excuse the oven. It’s making a lot of noises. (oven fan noise)
Can you hear that? I think one of the most surprising things with all of this
has been Patreon. Like, let’s get real. I know some people are
really against Patreon, but we have to talk about it for at least two minutes.
(rustling sound) Now originally, I wasn’t going to do Patreon because A: it was terrifying, B: I felt like nobody was gonna
want to contribute. (oven fan noise gets louder) Can you hear that oven? Bro! I’m trying to talk. Okay, I’ve turned the oven off. I’m just gonna have to preheat it and bake these
when I’m done talking. All right?
I don’t like being interrupted. What was I saying? Okay, “empty the dry scone mix
into a mixing bowl “and stir in the milk.” And we need 150 millilitres of milk. (rustling noises)
All right. I need something to stir. This says: “a butter knife is really good for this.” A butter knife. So I wasn’t gonna do Patreon because I was really scared of failure, basically. (rustling noises) (bursting noise) (laughs) Our bowl is not big enough, son. But I had a buddy who was
basically like, “Why not just try it? “Try Patreon. “Try Twitch. “You know, you never know
until you try.” Which I mean is very true. And here we are. As of recording this, we’ve got, like,
at least 60 patreons. 60 people who are willing to
support me financially. So I can make silly videos like this. It’s very… it’s very hard to imagine. Don’t watch this.
I’m gonna put this on the floor. But we’ve got Patreon, which I realise
not everybody can support financially every month. I get that.
I’m not expecting that. I wasn’t even really
expecting much to begin with. Then we’ve got Twitch. Twitch is really fun. It’s…it’s a very young group. I think most people on Twitch
are around my age. Typically. We’ve got even… we’ve got some young,
young uns. In the, in the eighteen,
nineteen range. (laughs) But Twitch is very fun and I’ve been learning that. I need to get a lot better
at that though. So, if you watch me on Twitch, I am so sorry. And I’ve also been playing around with this idea of making a e-book. I wanted something that I could create and then sell online, basically. And…e-books are really… popular, I guess? But my problem is, the most obvious thing
that I would write about is moving to England. So, details about visas. Details about flights. Packing. Kind of like
what my videos touch on but it would be
far more in-depth. Like with real, like, specifics and… money figures. And…and like,
really detailed stuff. What is that?
Oh my god. We’ve got something
in our scones, guys. It’s teal. Do you think that was
part of the bag? I hope that Chef Ramsay’s
not watching. But the issue if I wrote about moving to England is that 90% of the people that watch my video…
videos are British. So, you guys aren’t going to want a book about moving to the UK on a visa, how to work, and all the rest of it. So, I think I’m gonna do it separate. I think I’m gonna make a separate website with a new name, and market it towards primarily
expat-y people. And I’ll still let you guys know when it…when it finally,
if it ever, comes out. If you’re interested. But it’s gonna be its own thing. I’m excited. Who doesn’t need more projects? Okay, so “when the mixture is combined, “get your hands in and knead it “until it is a soft, smooth dough.” Then we’re gonna “roll out the mixture “onto a lightly floured surface.” All right. We’ll get there
when we get there. Let’s… Let’s get in here. Eww! I don’t really have enough room
to get both hands in there. You know what I’m saying?
So, we’re just gonna… Just gonna go like this. This is kind of like kneading. Eww, I don’t like… Is it supposed to be like that? Sometimes I get comments from people
who are like, you know, “you’re just
milking us for money” and “you should do this
because you like to” and, you know, “you’re friends with
some people on here” and, like, “you should just do it”. Basically. Which… I think it’s super naive to think of it that way. If you consume entertainment, and you think that you deserve
to get everything for free? Like that kinda sucks. YouTube has sort of been… like an iceberg. So, you see 20% of the work but 80% of the work you don’t see. So, like this video, I went out and
bought all this stuff. And then I have to set up my camera and the lights and whatever. Make sure my memory card’s OK. Then I’ll probably film for
at least an hour, probably. Then I need to export the files
onto my computer and I edit. Editing takes a long time. And it will probably edit down to maybe… half an hour? 25 minutes? And then I need to export it. Then I need to convert it. Then I need to upload it to YouTube. Then I need to do a thumbnail,
the end credits, the description box. I need to tag it. Then I need to schedule it. Then I need to monitor the comments
when it goes live. Then I need to do
all the social media around it. Then I need to put it on my blog. (laughs) Although you think it’s like,
it’s just one dumb, stupid YouTube video. Which I agree. This is one dumb, stupid YouTube video. But it takes a long time,
is what I’m saying. So I really do appreciate anybody who has contributed… contrib-u-ted… contributed. That doesn’t sound right.
That’s a word though. I just appreciate anybody who’s contributed… in some way. I even have like a PayPal thing where people can just
throw a donation in there. Even if it’s, like, two pounds. Like, that’s cool.
I appreciate that. Makes a difference. I mean PayPal takes fees out of me so I don’t really get the two pounds, but I appreciate it. And I just want to find more ways that I can expand Adventures and Naps. You know what I’m saying? I want to be transparent with you guys. I wanna make some money. I’m not gonna be able to make my living from Adventures and Naps.
There’s no way. I have a full-time job.
I have to have that job. I couldn’t…I couldn’t survive on this stuff. I wanna make some money.
You know what I’m saying? I want to roll in that YouTube money. All right, I’m done with this. I think this is good, right? It looks like a… does it look like a scone? Look at that! Sticks to your ribs! Ohh! How about some ASMR baking? (squishing sounds) Can you hear that?
Maybe not. Speaking of which, I did some… parody ASMR videos on Patreon. (laughs)
Cause I thought they were funny! But I don’t think everybody else
thinks they’re funny. (laughs) Okay. Geez, this is really thick. Is it supposed to be like that? I don’t know if you’ve ever watched
any of my other videos, but I am not a baker. Okay? I am not a chef. I accept that about myself. I can get better.
I can do better. But also… Let me wash my hands. Next step. We’re gonna “roll the mixture
onto a lightly floured surface “until it’s about two centimetres thick. “Cut out six disks with your pastry cutter…” Honey. You think I have a pastry cutter? I don’t even know what that looks like! I don’t have a cutting board. So guess what? We’re gonna powder this table. It is clean.
(rustling noises) Although my hands are kind of wet. Oh, this is a disaster. I’m starting to get very nervous. I also don’t know what
two centimetres looks like anymore. Why are people using centimetres? Okay? Talk in things I know.
(rustling noises) Oh my god! If I put my hand in there,
the flour’s gonna stick to me. But if I dump it… I know that’s gonna be a big mistake. (sound of drumming fingers
and intake of breath) (sighs) I’m starting to feel very nervous. Ooh, it feels like sand. Oh… that’s…oh, that’s too much. I haven’t really done this before. How do you…
how much is too much? Know what?
Let’s just make a mess. And Future Alanna
will have to clean it up. But not this Alanna.
You know what I’m saying? That’s not a problem for me
in this moment. The other question we get… “We” get. I’m talking to myself
like I’m a group. It’s just me here.
Hey, how’s it going? The other question I get is “Do you put the clotted cream on first
and then the jam? “Or do you put the jam on first
and then the clotted cream?” I’m sure people are going wild
in the comments right now, giving me their opinions
(tapping noises) and telling me how wrong I am. Or maybe I’m just getting comments
that people don’t like my glasses. Either way, I’m excited. Okay, that’s like… That’s enough, right? Okay… “Roll the mixture out.” Guess what? I don’t have a rolling pin. Oh, no. Oh, no.
Oh, no. Oh, no. Now I don’t have a rolling pin, but I do have this glass. Is it good to make it a little bit floury
so it doesn’t stick to it? I have literally no idea what I’m doing.
(rubbing sounds) If that falls over, lord help me. I’ll just kill myself. Okay…time to come out! I don’t wanna…
(shaking noises) (sighs) Back in Canada and in the US, we have this restaurant, I guess, called Dairy Queen.
I don’t think you guys have it here. But, basically, Dairy Queen Blizzards
are really good. It’s, like, really thick ice cream. And they would always do this thing where they fill up your cup thing
with the ice cream, and they flip it upside down and hold it and show you,
like, how thick the ice cream was. Cause it wouldn’t, like, fall out. And then they’d, like, give it to you. I’m missing Dairy Queen right about now. I feel like this is gonna stick… in the absolute worst way possible. Come on, son! Let’s go!
I got things to do. It feels like glue. Like it’s so sticky! Why is it so sticky? (sobbing laughter) That was… So it’s… This is happening. Goddamn. What have I done? I floured you! Why are you still sticking? Probably because it’s the wrong material,
you idiot. I’m sorry. I didn’t like this glass anyway. Okay. Thank you! This was a disaster. Maybe I’ll just cut this part out so you guys won’t know what an idiot I am. I need to keep…
I need to keep a certain… image of myself on the Internet. I don’t want people to think
that I’m weird. Or… incompetent in literally any way. Because how… strangers view me is very important to me. (whispers) Oh my god! Eww. Eww. Eww. Loving life! If these don’t turn out,
so help me god… What were we…
what were we talking about? So yeah, I’m thinking about
writing an e-book. But it will be for… non-British people, unfortunately. I don’t know what to write about for you guys
that you would enjoy. If you’ve got an idea,
let me know. Maybe I’ll do two! One for the non-Brits and one for the Brits. But otherwise, I don’t really know
what to tell you guys. But I thought it would be just,
like, a nice little project. I like having projects, you know.
I like… almost have to be consistently busy. Otherwise, I lose meaning to my life. I started out feeling very confident. It’s just a pack of scones.
How bad can it be? I’m starting to lose that confidence now.
(laughs) We need six discs. Which we’re supposed to cut
with the pastry cutter. Like I have one of those. Hon, I don’t even have a rolling pin! So…I don’t know what you… where you think I’m getting
a pastry cutter from. Maybe I should have read the instructions. So I could have bought one from Morrisons,
while I was there. It’s nobody’s fault, but my own. Good thing I’m getting flour (laughs) all over this shirt. I didn’t want to wear this anyway. On Patreon a while back, I made… sushi for the first time. I’ve never had sushi. And I thought,
not only have I never had it, I’ve certainly never baked it. Or…(laughs)
I’ve certainly never made…made it. So I made sushi for the first time and I made sushi rice. That’s like really sticky,
flavoured rice. And it kinda…
this kinda reminds me of it because I just could not get it
off of myself. That’s a video you can watch on Patreon. #PluggingMyOwnStuff (sighs) Six discs. Now, discs. How big a disc? Are we talking a golf ball? Are we talking a hand? One, two, three, four, five. Little bit less than that. (cutting noises) Gotta make these into discs, bud. That’s okay. I can do it. I’m a big girl. I’m a strong, independent woman. We can figure out
how to make a goddamn scone if it kills me. How’s that? Does that look like a… like a disc to you? Certainly is disc shape. Although there’s something, like, brown
in…in there. (laughs). I’m not really sure what that is. That’s weird.
Mmm…nice. So, how’s everybody’s Tuesday going? Or whatever day of the week
you are watching this. Hope you’re having a lovely day.
I certainly am. I woke up. I had a hot drink. I went for a run, cause
guess what, you guys? It’s slowly becoming
less crappy outside. And you can be outside again. Okay. This one’s a little bit… She’s a little bit not right. But that’s okay.
We like her anyway. She’s an individual. It feels a bit thin now,
but you know what? Oh. Don’t. Can you see?
Oh, you can’t see that. That’s good. Just pretend that one is perfect. Perhaps we need to knead this again. You got to make it up
as you go along. I have never made scones. We don’t eat scones back home. I mean they exist.
Absolutely. There’s a lot of British heritage in Canada. Obviously. But I don’t eat scones back home. My parents don’t make scones. But I do like them. I’ll give you that, guys. Oh, geez Louise. I’m not gonna be able to fit six. Oh, maybe. We need to make them
a little bit smaller though. (cutting noise) As I cut out a giant piece. I know we do have… Even in my hometown, we have like a… a cute little tea room. And it’s supposed to be,
like, British inspired. You can get tea and crumpets and that kind of stuff. Scones, I’m sure.
Little sandwiches. Cause we like to… like to take other people’s ideas and then just use them as our own. Ooh! That. Oh. That’s on the edge of the… Ah, it’s too late. I also read on here that you could add Cheddar to the mix to make a cheesy one. Which appeals to me a lot because cheese is one of
my major food groups. It’s just cheese.
It’s part of the pyramid It’s got its own little triangle. But I don’t have… decent cheese right now. So we’re gonna go old-school. I do have… some… Rodda’s classic
Cornish clotted cream. I got some of that. And I got some… raspberry… stuff. I feel like I’m making pizzas! Maybe that’ll be the next video. “Canadian Makes Pizzas
While Living in England.” How does this have anything to do
with our channel? It doesn’t. That’s good enough.
Nice! Well, that’s a thick boy. Oh, no! I think I’m gonna… I’ve got a really skinny boy over here. I’m gonna plump him up a little bit cause he’s gonna cook way faster than the thick guys
I’ve been doing. Ohh! I am filled with dread.
(laughs) I’m so nervous.
Which is dumb. This is dumb.
This is the internet. Literally nobody cares. But I care.
I care so much. Okay, let’s make our little disc
with our pastry cutters. A.k.a. these two hands. That looks like a disc,
doesn’t it? Beautiful, sticky disc. Some of it is
stuck on my hand, but I’m never gonna
get that off. So that’s fine. And check out… my very evenly sized discs. Can you see how perfect
they all are? They’re almost identical.
They’re like twins in both size
and thickness. So, I’m gonna turn the oven back on. Get that preheated. You put these bad boys in for about, like, ten to fifteen minutes “until your scones are risen
and golden.” And then we take them out. We put them on a wire rack. And then we’re gonna put
our toppings on. So I guess I’ll clean up
while they’re cooking cause lord knows this is going to
take me a long time. Okay, just talk quietly amongst yourselves
while I do this. (music) Uh-oh! (laughs) So, these are my scones? I’ll do a close-up after. Maybe. They are varying shapes and sizes. And I don’t know if they’re fully cooked
in the middle because some of them are so damn big. But…you know what? I’m gonna eat it anyway. I’m gonna try the small one because maybe that’s realistic of… working out. Here’s a surprise. I do clotted cream first. Because out of the two, I like the clotted cream the most. I think whatever you put on first, you tend to put the most on. Cause you can spread it the best. So the secondary ingredient is
just kind of like the, you know, the…the extra bit. If you will. So I’m gonna… get some clotted cream up there. These kind of look like little buns. Look at that. Just kind of
get all up in that. There’s no top. You know when the scones have,
like, that perfect little shape? These do not have that shape. Rest it on that bad boy. Then we’re gonna put some… raspberry, if I can open it. Ouch! Now I don’t like too much of this.
(stirring noise) So just, like, a little bit. But its shape’s so weird. I don’t know how I’m gonna… eat this without getting it
all over my face. It’s also still really hot. So that’s probably why
everything is dripping. Okay, cheers! Buddy! That’s actually good! I’ll tell you what. That is not bad. I mean… not totally sure
it was fully… cooked in the middle. But I certainly ate it! They are very heavy. These skinny ones
might actually be nice. Where they’re not so dense. But I’m happy. I mean, they don’t look like scones,
do they? They don’t look like the scones
in my mind, at least. (laughs) But I’ll tell you what. Pretty decent. Be interesting to know what
these weird shaped ones taste like. This one looks decent.
I might do this one next. But god, they’re filling.
And I think I ate that one too fast. But I’m pleasantly surprised. I think I just…
(sighs) I inhaled that one. If you guys have other British thingies that you’d like me
to try to make, let me know. Please understand that
my skill level is very low. So, everybody telling me that
I should do a full roast dinner… Bud! It’s not gonna happen. Pick something easier. But these I’ve actually…
these I enjoy. These are like… I’m gonna have another one, once I turn this camera off. As always, thank you guys so much
for watching. Thank you for all your support across all the other
Adventures and Naps… things I’ve been trying out, this last… few months, I guess.
Last year? Whatever. I really appreciate it. It means a lot. (sighing) Ohhh! I feel it in my rib cage now. As always, thank you guys
so much for watching. And until next time, byee! (music)