Jeff Ross Roasts America – You Asked for This

Jeff Ross Roasts America – You Asked for This


AND THIS GUY, WHAT’S YOUR STORY? I SAW YOU AT THE THEATER
WHEN I WALKED BY AT, LIKE,
WHAT TIME TODAY? – UH, I THINK IT WAS,
LIKE, 2:00. – THIS GUY GOT TO
THE THEATER AT 2:00. I THOUGHT HE WAS
A REALLY BIG FAN, TURNS OUT
HE’S [bleep] HOMELESS. WHAT DO YOU DO?
– UH, I’M A LASER OPERATOR. – A WHAT?
– A LASER OPERATOR. – YOU MUST
GET TONS OF [bleep]. – JUST ONE.
[laughs] – JUST ONE?
– YEAH. – YOU HAVE A WIFE?
– UM, IN A COUPLE MONTHS. – OH, YOU’RE GONNA
YOU’RE ENGAGED? – YES.
– WOW, WHAT DOES SHE DO? – SHE–
– I KNOW SHE’S NOT A DENTIST. YOU ASKED FOR THIS, BUDDY.
I DIDN’T–I DIDN’T– – NO, HEY, HEY. – COME HERE, LADIES. LET’S CHECK YOU OUT
FOR A SECOND. TWO FIVES
MAKE A TEN, RIGHT? – RIGHT!
– [laughs] – YEAH! WE’RE DOING IT!
WE’RE [bleep] DOING IT! WOW. YOU HAVE SUCH A SWEET FACE.
– AW, THANK YOU. – ARE YOU, LIKE, MISSING
A CHROMOSOME OR SOMETHING? – YEAH, FOR SURE.
FOR SURE. BUT–BUT IT MAKES EVERYTHING
SO MUCH BETTER. – I FEEL YOU.
I COULD SEE THAT. I COULD TOTALLY SEE THAT.
– GOOD. – I LOVE YOU GUYS.
AND LOOK AT YOU. YOU STOLE A TABLECLOTH
FROM CHUCK E. CHEESE. – HEY, MAN, IT’S A RECESSION.
IT’S A RECESSION. – YOU TALKING ABOUT
YOUR TITS? [laughs] OH, MY GOD,
LOOK AT THAT. I’D LIKE TO GIVE YOU BOTH
MY SPACE NEEDLE. BET YOUR [bleep]
SMELL LIKE PIKE’S PLACE. TAKE A BOW, YOU GUYS.
YOU CAN GO BACK TO YOUR SEATS. SUPER, SUPER COOL OF YOU LADIES
TO COME UP HERE. GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR PUBIC HAIRS
COMING IN. – ALL RIGHT, ANY TIME NOW.

25 thoughts on “Jeff Ross Roasts America – You Asked for This”

  1. Why is this fool wearing a Mariners football jersey with a throwback logo hat? C'mon man, at least match up the eras properly! Lmao

  2. Sorry Jeff this whole roasting thing is getting old… it was funny In the beginning but not anymore you should just do movies

  3. I like Sandler, but this new movie is so terrible. Netflix has to have some people who understand story, comedy, etc.

  4. Haha missing a chromosome haha XD ENJOY GUYS! In a couple of years it’ll be illegal to crack such a joke. Thank you feminists.

  5. if you take the mic out of the picture jeff looks like the first choice a comedian would pic to roast XD
    his sweater makes him look like a bee who is trying to look hip because its fat and ugly

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