Jeff Ross Roasts Cops – An Awkward Roast of Boston’s Finest

Jeff Ross Roasts Cops – An Awkward Roast of Boston’s Finest


So I put it out therethat I wanted to roast
a big city police department
and the only one to step up
and say yes
was the home of America’s
very first police force,
Bah-ston,a city that I’ve loved
since going to college there,
but on the morning I arrived,an officer was shot
and tensions were running high.
– You know, this individual
just shot one of our officers and the officers were able
to tackle him and not use deadly force. – I don’t know the details
of what happened in Dorchester but cop gets shot,
they could have– they could have killed the guy. His partner could have
killed the guy. – You know, the officers
ran him down and tackled him when they could have used
deadly force. I like to say, uh, you know, we’re a compassionate department and we care about human life and I think the public
realizes that. – Boston used to have
a bad reputation. – Well, when I came on the job
we had 160 homicides. We had 38 this year. Chicago had 500,
Baltimore had 344, so the stricter gun laws and
the community work we’re doing is really making a difference. – Why would you let me come in and roast
the Boston Police Department? – Well, I would because,
you know, I want to break the stereotype
out there that, you know,
we’re the bad guys. – Right. – I want people to see
that what’s playing out across the nation isn’t what
the Boston Police are. We don’t mind
you making fun of us, because I want the public
to know we’re real people. [sniffs]
– You got a nose for crime. – I know. – And ears for it too. [laughter]Now that the brass
was on board,
I was revved up and readyto address the rank and fileduring an afternoon roll calland give ’em a few laughs
before they hit the streets.
[whistling melody]How are you, everybody? I’ll make this quick
’cause I know most of you are double-parked. Thank you for letting me
come here. This is really cool. I’ve never performed in front of an entire roomful
of YouTube celebrities before. This’ll be so much better
if you guys just came into the middle
of the [bleep] room. All right, fine. You guys also have a rich
criminal history in this town. You had the Boston Tea Party
here, Whitey Bulger was from here, Tom Brady’s from here. [police grumble] Oh, come on, that one really let the air
out of the room, huh? And let’s be real, if Whitey Bulger’s name
had been Blackie Bulger they would have caught him
a lot quicker. Jesus Christ. There’s obviously a problem between the cops
and the community across the country right now
and that’s what I’m here, because that really bothers me, and it really bothers me when some people say
that all cops are racist. Of course that’s not true. Most of you are just dicks
to everybody. All right. [chuckles] All right, well… Thanks for coming. All right. Thanks you guys.Holy shit, that sucked.Hasn’t there been enough
bombing in Boston?
Well, it turns out that right
before I got to town,
the policemen’s union
found a picture of me
at that Black Lives Matter
rally
and profiled me as a cop-hater.They even posted a bulletin
in all the precincts
and sent an email
to every cop in town
telling them
to stay away from me.
With no cameras allowed,
I spent hours
negotiating my comedy special
out of a hostage situation.

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