Jo Koy Stand-up

Jo Koy Stand-up


>>THANK YOU! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
>>OKAY ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU. THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL! IT’S AN EXCITING TIME RIGHT NOW. MY SON JUST TURNED 15. AND I THINK EVERY PARENT IN HERE
WILL AGREE WITH ME, ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE A 15-YEAR-OLD, THIS
IS THE DIRTIEST ROOMMATE I’VE EVER LIVED WITH, HANDS DOWN. I DON’T KNOW IF I’M RAISING A
KID OR TAKING CARE OF A MONSTER. HE’S ALSO THE CREEPIEST DUDE
I’VE EVER LIVED WITH. HE IS DOING THINGS NOW THAT HE
DIDN’T THINK I DID. TOOK A SHOWER FOR 45 MINUTES,
COMES OUT HEAD’S DRY. I’M LIKE JOE YOU DIDN’T TASE A
SHOWER. HE’S LIKE YEAH, I DID. I’M LIKE JOE YOU HAD BED HEAD. HE’S LIKE THAT’S THE STYLE. I’M LIKE STOP JOE, YOU KNOW I
WAS 15 TOO, RIGHT? EVERYTHING YOU’RE DOING I DID
ALREADY. I WAS A PRO AT IT! THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND
I, I WAS A LOT MORE SLICK ABOUT IT. SO JUST TRICK ME, JOE, NEXT TIME
YOU TAKE A LONG SHOWER, JUST WET YOUR HEAD! (APPLAUSE)
MY SON LOOKED AT ME LIKE THIS, HE WAS LIKE ALL RIGHT, ALL
RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. AND I WAS LIKE BRO, YOU THINK
I’M GOING TO SHAKE YOUR HAND? I’M NOT TOUCHING THAT HAND. GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH! HE SAID I DID ALREADY. I GO NO YOU DIDN’T JOE. HE GOES WHY. I GO BECAUSE THAT’S WHY, I CAN
SMELL THE WORD WHY. (APPLAUSE)
I GO DO YOU FLOSS? HE SAYS YEAH I FLOSS. I GO JOE YOU DON’T FLOSS. HE GOES WHY? I GO BECAUSE YOUR TEETH LOOK
LIKE ONE TOOTH. LET’S BRING THOSE LINES BACK. I GO JOE SHOW ME HOW YOU FLOSS. SHOW ME HOW YOU FLOSS. HE GRABS A LITTLE PIECE OF FLOSS
LIKE THIS AND HE GOES LIKE THAT REAL QUICK. I GO JOE YOU DIDN’T FLOTION. YOU NEED TO SCRAPE EACH SIDE OF
THE TOOTH WITH A NEW PIECE OF FLOSS. YOU NEED TO TAKE THE STRING OUT
OF YOUR MOUTH. WHEN YOU USE THE SAME PIECE OF
FLOSS YOU’RE JUST MOVING THE STEAK FROM HERE AND PUTTING IT
ALL OVER HERE. YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE STEAK OUT
WITH A NEW PIECE OF FLOSS, JOE. SCRAPE, MOVE, SCRAPE MOVE, NEW
PIECE OF FLOSS. HE SAYS HOW AM I GOING TO DO
THAT IF MY FLOSS IS ONLY THIS BIG? I GO JOE, GRAB A LOT OF FLOSS. HOOK IT UP. TREAT YOURSELF. (APPLAUSE)
>>THEN I WANT YOU TO COIL IT UP. COIL UP THE FLOSS IN BETWEEN TWO
HANDS LIKE THAT. EACH TOOTH GETS ITS OWN FLOSS,
SCRAPE MOVE SCRAPE MOVE SCRAPE. A LOT OF YOU ARE LOOKING AT ME
LIKE REALLY, THAT’S HOW YOU FLOSS? YES! SO I SHOWED HIM HOW TO DO IT, I
LEFT. IT’S IN GOD’S HANDS NOW. I WAKE UP THE NEXT MORNING, HE
DOESN’T SEE I’M AWAKE, ABOUT TO TAKE HIM TO SCHOOL, HE’S IN THE
LIVING ROOM FLOSSING, DOING EVERYTHING I TAUGHT HIM, SCRAPE,
MOVE, SCRAPE, MOVE, SCRAPE PROSPECT I START TEARING UP,
THAT’S MY BOY. SCRAPE, MOVE, SCRAICH, MOVE,
SCRAPE. OH OH MY GOD HE LISTENED. GOT TO THE LAST TOOTH AND HE
WENT LIKE THIS, GULP! HE ATE IT! I GO THOSE AREN’T LEFTOVERS! BUT MY SON IS WATCHING AND I
JUST WANT HIM TO KNOW: DAD WAS A CREEP, TOO. I LOVE YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
THANK YOU JAMES. THANK YOU. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
>>James: JO KOY, EVERYONE! CHECK OUT JOKOY.COM FOR TICKETS
AND DATES!

100 thoughts on “Jo Koy Stand-up”

  1. Reminded me a lil' bit of George Carlin. George once asked, 'Why is it when hours after we ate AND we find a bit of food tucked somewhere [behind a tooth?] , we don't spit it out – – – we eat it?!?

  2. We saw him 2 months ago. He is awesome!!! Finished his show and said…. Imma take pictures with all of you modafukas ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ and he did!!!! Love him โ™ฅ๏ธ

  3. I've had this very open smile which looks I'm about to laugh hard but since it's a quiet night, I've had this look for several minutes now.

  4. His son's never ever gonna have a girlfriend. I feel sorry for that dude for having a comedian dad and half filipino too ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  5. Huge Jo Koy fan and instead of leaving a comment, i got so excited that i made a video. link here: https://youtu.be/k7Ksec_cTYc

  6. โ€œ-got to the last tooth and he went like this, โ€œmmโ€ HE ATE ITโ€๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  7. I love watching the bits Joseph did about his mom before he had his son to now. We have slowly watched him become his mother ๐Ÿ˜‚

  8. Damn this shit is weak af, dont give a shit if he could curse or not this man is unfunny. Also seems like a natural homo with that wispy delivery all while talking about his son, lol wtf

  9. I know he's talking about his son and I am not a parent – but I date younger guys and I had these conversations with them way 2 many times. lol

  10. Love JK but man he be recycling the same jokes over and over bruh he did this skit as well on his newest Netflix special we want some new material Jo frfr

  11. You shouldnโ€™t say thing like that about your son in front of a live audience. I mean heโ€™s never gonna get laid.

  12. JoKoy finally got a gig with James Cordon AFTER having already several sold out tours and multiple Netflix specials.

  13. Wow, his son is 15 now…. 5 minutes ago I was just watching his show about his son calling his birdy "Ting-Ting".๐Ÿ˜‚

  14. Man, i just discovered u today from ur vid Essentials. Im a clown joker/funny guy and I admire u alot. Im hoping u go here in the Philippines. WE LOVE YOU!๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ

  15. Wow๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜he was all over evry show…I'm so proud..๐Ÿ˜˜..but he deserve s ..he is so funny and evrything blend well together most specially the mom part!๐Ÿคฉ

  16. This guy is amazing! But no offend he always do the boarder line line asian jokes! But its all real facts! Brilliant!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *