Junction City Wrestling – Season 3 – Episode 9 – The Wedding of Pretty Ricky and Jody Threat

Junction City Wrestling – Season 3 – Episode 9 – The Wedding of Pretty Ricky and Jody Threat


Pretty Ricky: This masked Gentleman is literally stealing Freedom Wallace… Pretty Ricky: Someone needs to stop this! This is crazy! Ed Kanerva: Oh no! Pretty Ricky: Oh my God! Pretty Ricky: The masked man and DJ are stealing Freedom Wallace in the trunk of this vehicle! Big Kahuna: You wanted the control of this show? Big Kahuna: We want Freedom back! Ed Kanerva: Ultimate betrayal! Pretty Ricky: *screams* Ed Kanerva: I can’t believe it. Pretty Ricky: I cannot believe this! Ed Kanerva: I can’t believe it. Freedom Wallace: What?! Etegualu: The diamonds! Etegualu: I am willing to wager this. DJ: You’re on! DJ: ’cause we have the diamond! DJ: We own you! Bolo Fung: The diamond! The diamond! The diamond! Ed Kanerva: Oh! Folks! Ed Kanerva: It’s the diamond! It’s the diamond, it’s The Destructor Rumble Ed Kanerva: and Jody Threat has won it! Pretty Ricky: That’s it ladies and gentlemen, Pretty Ricky: Jody Threat is going to go on a date with me! Ed Kanerva: Oh boy. Big Kahuna: It’s the Saucerman again! Ed Kanerva: Folks, I don’t know if you can hear but he is saying Ed Kanerva: he needs the diamond. Ed Kanerva: Jody Threat truly zombified here, oh no! Big Kahuna: What?! What?! Freedom, no! Ed Kanerva: School boy roll-up! Big Kahuna: Jody kick out! Jody! No! Ed Kanerva: Folks, this is a confusing scenario. Ed Kanerva: It’s scary. Ring Announcer: Freedom Wallace Ed Kanerva: Freedom’s got the diamond… Saucerman: It’s a conspiracy… Freedom Wallace: There is no conspiracy! Ed Kanerva: Saucerman, I don’t know how much more of this he can take… Big Kahuna: Again, this flying saucer! Ed Kanerva: but the wrestlers in the ring here, Ed Kanerva: most certainly seem to be compelled by some other worldly force! Ed Kanerva: Controlled by something beyond. Ed Kanerva: Something unknown to man. Pretty Ricky: You are all invited to my wedding! Pretty Ricky: Me and Jody Threat are getting married! Pretty Ricky: I’ve got her a heck of a diamond! Saucerman: The diamond! Bradley: I think it’s about time we got this show started I think it’s time for a wedding, what do you guys think? Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the official for the wedding of Pretty Ricky Willdy and Jody Threat The Reverend, Old School Eddington James. Kanerva: Hi folks and welcome to Junction City Wrestling presents Oktoberfist I’m your host Ed Kanerva, and we’re about to witness what many are calling the wedding of the century, only because
something so inconceivable can only happen once a century, and of course
today I’m not joined by Pretty Ricky Willdy because he’s getting married, I’m
joined by the Big Kahuna! Kahuna: Yes my dude, we are here today for a very, very unusual, very unusual day like I gotta say
holy moly matrimony my dude Bradley: Just make sure you call it right down the middle Old School Now Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome the wedding party Kahuna: and this wedding party, I haven’t gotten a good look at ’em, but I’m quite interested to see who’s all here Kanerva: You know I’m here and I wasn’t
invited and quite frankly that is just terrible. Needless to say Matthew
Bradley introduced this wedding as an auspicious event but you got to think
this is a little bit inauspicious considering all the trance-like states
Jody’s been under. Could she possibly be agreed to such an insane
marriage as Pretty Ricky Willdy Kahuna: I mean, yeah you know he says auspicious I say
suspicious my dude. Just ever since she was in that trance back
at 3030 on Dundas, Jody threat just hasn’t been herself and I mean, since then Pretty Ricky has somehow convinced her that she is destined to be with him my dude. Kanerva: Swept in with those sugar lips of his and definitely sold her up the river, cause needless to say we’re gonna see how this transpires, you know like most weddings that happen at a wrestling event, it’ll go smoothly I hope for all those involved. Bradley: And now ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the groom, the Junction City Champion, Pretty Ricky Willdy. Kanerva: You know my ne’er-do-well co-host here coming out to the strains of a song that fits his personality. Kahuna: This is definitely apropos my dude, for this event and oh my goodness,
Pretty Ricky, it appears a member of his party is none other than Bradford
Montague! Kanerva: Hoisted aloft, Ricky needs to remember that fur is murder, not that he cares. Classy as always. Leopard print,
fur coat. Can’t even walk his way to his own
wedding, can you believe it?! Kahuna: It’s quite confusing and then the bride’s gonna have to walk her way down herself I’m sure. Kanerva: Most certainly. Bradley: And now ladies
and gentlemen, if you are able, please rise for the bride. Kahuna: Quite frankly, I’m just curious who’s
gonna be giving her away, I can’t imagine that Jody’s Father would be okay with this. Kanerva: He’s got to have, you know he’s seen the footage, she’s been in a trance, a trance-like state! Fans here at Junction City Wrestling just
eagerly waiting. Kahuna: Anticipation building. Freedom Wallace! That’s just not right my dude. Kanerva: This is, I
already have a bad taste in my mouth. Kahuna: I mean yes, I think that might be
Freedom’s cologne, I do not know dude. Kanerva: It is quite pungent, Jody threat looking like a blushing bride, but definitely not a bride with all of her wits. Kahuna: Yes, she certainly seems like that trance from 3030 is still in effect here. I don’t know if she would be able to commit to this sort of nuptials my dude. Kanerva: Most certainly not, she’s a brash and brazen performer and she’s showing none of that today, looking very meek and mild. Not even knowing how to enter the ring, a
place that she’s very familiar with. Kahuna: Yes, indeed. Here we go my dude, it seems we are prepared for this wedding! Kanerva: Junction Craft Brewery’s a beautiful venue, hosted many a wedding but definitely nothing like this. Kahuna: Freedom Wallace
doesn’t even know where he’s at my dude. Kanerva: Directing this wedding. Officiant: You may be seated. Welcome to this auspicious occasion. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here, Ricky: Ok, ok, ok, so thank you all for coming to my wedding, thank you! Kanerva: Thanks for the invite. Ricky: Wonderful, ok. Uh, Jody, we are getting married, I have
known you for most of my life, at least the last 11 months, and in that time we
have grown to be so close, I’ve seen you on at least four shows together, but dear, I think we have a real chance at making happiness here,
because you, you are destined for great things in this world, and now, now so am I!
So Jody, Kahuna: I don’t think Pretty Ricky is one of
those great things that Jody is destined for. Ricky: so much money together, and I will live tremendously comfortably, for the rest of our days! Kanerva: Four shows does not a relationship make. Kahuna: Ah, I don’t know, my Grandparents dated like six months before they got engaged. Jody: Money? Ricky: Ok, ok so she vows the same thing, and Jody also wants me to be happy, uh Jody vows to be a part of my life, in whatever is necessary for Ricky to continue. Correct? Kanerva: Normally you have to say your own vows. Kahuna: You do, it’s like you don’t have your… Kanerva: Part of the rules, right? Officiant: And Sir, do you have the ring? Kahuna: It’s a two way street. Kanerva: This wedding referee is losing control of this wedding match. Kahuna: It does seem that you are correct Mr. Ed. Kanerva: Who brought the ring? Come on this is like wedding match 101, you gotta bring the ring. They’re in a ring, and they don’t
have a ring, you know what I mean? It’s the diamond! I can feel its power, up in the broadcast booth. They’re going to need that ring resized though, that’s quite a large finger hole for that ring. Kahuna: Yah for sure, it’s more so a bracelet than a ring. Kanerva: I would say so, it’s a big diamond though, it’s a big rock. Ricky: This is the only diamond that we need, there you go, yes give me your hand…your hand! Other one. Kanerva: Kahuna, this is getting really official, I did not think this wedding was gonna make it to this point. Officiant: Okay, then by the power vested in me by Freedom Wallace, Kanerva: Someone’s gotta object
here. Officiant: I hereby pronounce you, man and wife. You may smooch the bride. Kanerva: What’s that? I think we have an objection! An unidentified flying objection! Those classic saucer sounds that we’ve
been hearing in Junction City Wrestling. Kahuna,
I don’t know if you can hear this but it but there’s some crazy saucer sounds. Wedding party is definitely making a
beeline to the back room area, they do not want any part of this. Looks like the participants of the match, err, wedding match for that matter, are in a classic trance-like state that we’ve been seeing Oh! Saucerman! Here’s our unidentified flying objection
right here to this marriage, he doesn’t want any of this, he’s seen the conspiracy, he knows what’s up. Ricky is now taking the diamond for
himself, Kahuna, I think Jody snapped out of her trance I know you’ve been mostly affected by these saucers sounds, but Kahuna: Ed, what happened? Kanerva: Everybody went into a trance, and it
appears like Jody is out of hers. Classic Freedom Wallace move there. Kahuna: Again, on the run. He’s got the diamond, this can’t be an official wedding. Kanerva: Chased by Saucerman though, we got a match here folks. Kahuna: It’s Pretty Ricky Willdy vs. his new wife, Jody Threat Willdy! Mrs. Willdy not happy. Kanerva: The honeymoon period’s going to be brief for these two, that’s for sure. Turnbuckle. He’s still got the belt on, they’re in their formal wear, Jody is just stripping off the pearls it appears Kahuna: A big slam on the pearls! Pretty Ricky! Kanerva: Those are the pearls that Pretty Ricky gave to her as a present. She doesn’t remember that. That’s the danger of wearing pearls into a wrestling match. Goes for another slam but doesn’t land it. Oh my, Willdy gets out of the suplex, oh
he’s trying to consummate the marriage! Talk about a submission maneuver, Slips on the pearls again. You know you gotta not wear pearls into a wrestling match, it’s a big problem. Pretty Ricky working his newlywed, chin lock here. Kahuna: It’s terrible dude,
like, you know just, trying to put her in her place, she does not need to be put in any
kind of place whatsoever dude. Kanerva: Most certainly not. Kanerva: Wrestlers have a unique way of, you
know, dealing with marital strife, but this is just inappropriate, Kahuna: Again, into another submission, Pretty Ricky, Jody Threat has to get out of this. Kanerva: Jody snapped to her senses, she wants nothing to do with Pretty Ricky and
really wants to put him back in his place, but she’s got to get to the ropes if she’s
gonna do that. Kahuna: Inching her way there. She’s going for it, she’s reaching, she’s got it! Thank goodness. Kanerva: We’ve got some officiants removing the Pretty
Ricky Willdy wedding signs. Gingerly placing them at the side of the match. Now he’s staring at me in a variety of different ways, they’re aiming the sign at me, it’s terrible. Kahuna: I’m not okay with this. Kanerva: I like you as a co-host, I don’t need… Kanerva: Lip lock. Lip lock! Kahuna: Cover your mouth! Cover your mouth! Kanerva: That’s the way you do it. You can’t kiss if you’re being strangled. Nope, oh, test of strength! Kahuna: Come on Jody, you got this! You wear the pants in this relationship my dudette! Come on you got this! Kanerva: Gosh, the strength of those lips, unparalleled. Kanerva: Outta nowhere! Kahuna: A cutter! A diamond cutter by Jody Threat, my goodness Kanerva: Jody Threat giving her recent husband a ring of her own, diamond ring of her own, diamond cutter. Kahuna: Doing DDP proud with that one. Kanerva: Most certainly. Kahuna: Jody Threat coming back to life. Kanerva: Jody Threat trying to annul this marriage in a very quick manner. Kahuna: Putting her new husband in his place. Kanerva: Incredible suplex. Jody is revved up, she does not want any of this, Kahuna: And again, oh, Michinoku Driver! Into the cover! Kanerva: We can rename that the Jody Threat divorce, Kahuna: I couldn’t have said it better myself. Kanerva: Divorce driver right there. Kahuna: The garter is off, it appears. Kanerva: Oh, she’s got to throw that in
the crowd. Kahuna: Oh! Right in the mouth of the groom! Oh my goodness. Jody Threat picking him up. Kanerva: Big time pick up what’s she gonna do here folks, oh! Freedom’s come back in! Kahuna: The chase is on again. Kanerva: Saucerman’s back, Clan Freedom Kahuna: Jody Threat seemingly distracted Kanerva: Oh no, quick roll-up! Kahuna: Pretty Ricky! Kanerva: Un-be-lievable folks. Bradley: Ladies and gentlemen, here is the winner of the wedding, Pretty Ricky Willdy. Kanerva: You go to a wedding, you get a match and it ends the way you don’t want it to. Unbelievable. Folks, there’s been hot lips being handed
out to the audience here today on a silver platter and you know, that’s what
Pretty Ricky is, he’s a hot lip on a silver platter, just got handed that match to him. Oh boy, he’s coming up in the booth folks. Ricky: Alright, that hurt more than I could possibly imagine. Bradley: Old School Eddington everybody, he had one job to do. Bradley: Alright, ladies and gentlemen, our next
contest is scheduled for one fall with a ten minute time limit. Kanerva: Now Ricky, is a hot dog a sandwich? Like would you this a sandwich? Ricky: Duh, what else would it be
you think of anything else between a hot dog bun bread and you tell me that it’s
not a sandwich, Bradley: Introducing first, from
Kurdistan, weighing in at 245 pounds, The Beast from the Middle East Karou! Kanerva: Karou with a new lease on life, released
from the shackles of Buck Gunderson That was a truly terrifying scream here folks. Bradley: And his opponent Pretty Ricky: Oh boy. Oh I know that music,
not sure if I trust this character. Kanerva: Just grooving along to the strains of
“Psycho Killer.” Bradley: From Newcastle, England, weighing in at 13
stone, “The British Brawler” Ad Hutchison! Ricky: Big deal, big deal, British Brawler’s been able to grow a beard since I last saw him. Hey! Those are mine. Kanerva: Kicked you right in the balloons there. Ricky: Right in the manhood. Kanerva: British Brawler looking like a bit of an atomic blonde out here. Riling up the crowd. Ricky: Oh this crowd hates him,
no one’s cheering for him, boo, everyone’s booing him. Boo. Kanerva: Some revisionist
history from Pretty Ricky. Ricky: What? I don’t listen to Malcolm Gladwell. Kanerva: Alright folks, Old School gets it started. Two big men sizing each other up. Ricky: Yah two big men, which one’s bigger? Kanerva: Yah, you’re right. Ricky: Say it for the blind Ed, who’s bigger? Kanerva: Karou is the bigger man, Ricky: Absolutely, Karou is the bigger man, I’m glad you were a big enough man to admit that Kanerva: Sometimes… Strong, strong lock up Karou again that strength advantage perhaps, pushes in the corner, clean break though Ricky: Perhaps? Karou is a monster. I’ll give it to ya, Brawler’s a brawler, but Karou is enormous. Kanerva: Oh. Reversal of fortunes there. Again, nice clean break. That’s what we want to see in Junction City Wrestling, no drinking, clean breaks. Ricky: I can go for a longer break and certainly
no more drinking with Bolo. I don’t trust the look on that guy’s face just like
Brawler here, you know. Devious. They’re up to something. Kanerva: Hard to tell. Ricky: It is hard to tell, that’s
the problem, you never know what Brawler or Bolo are up to, they’re scheming,
conniving young men, look at that. Kanerva: I was just gonna say, Ricky: Wow, is he scary. Kanerva: That was like an animalistic display there folks. Ricky: Karou is a very intelligent man, I’m sure he’s learned how to read at some point. Kanerva: Immovable object. Ricky: You know what, I will
admit that I expected Brawler to go flying on that. Man, he is standing toe-to-toe with Karou, I wouldn’t have guessed that honestly. Kanerva: Using his speed perhaps to his advantage, but you can only be so fast. Ricky: You can only be so lucky when you’re in there against Karou Kanerva: Wow. Ricky: Destroyed him. Kanerva: I’m amazed he got back up, Ricky: See the intensity he’s coming off the ropes with, my lord. Kanerva: Karou working that
headlock, wearing down his opponent, Thesz press, right into some ground and pound. Oh, swinging arm bar. Submission attempt here folks early, I don’t know if Karou’s worn down enough, escape’s to a pin. Ricky: I think the term is wishful thinking by the Brawler. Kanerva: Oh wow, just tossing the big man around. Ricky: Well these two behemoths finding
themselves on the tippity top rope, big strike right to the jaw,
Brawler’s gonna be eating his lunch through a straw. Kanerva: This is a place that Brawler does
not want to be, Ricky: British strawer… didn’t work. Kanerva: Close. Ricky: Good luck, Brawler smart, holding on as best he can to the top rope, oh my lord! Kanerva: Going back to that arm! Ricky: Didn’t see that one coming! Kanerva: Rope assisted arm bar here folks! Punishing. Ricky: What do you think, if Karou gave up in there, do you think the ref would give him the match? Kanerva: Tough to say, you know he’s kind of in the ropes, Ricky: No it is not tough to say, he’s on the ropes, it’s a cheat by Brawler, he’s a thieving, conniving young man. Kanerva: But as Old School gets older, it’s hard to tell with those eyes. Ricky: God, is he old. Kanerva: Again, Brawler smart here going, oh! Oh boy. Ricky: That was aggressive. Man, look at
Brawler’s back, did he get smashed with something? Kanerva: Got some welts, that’s for sure. Ricky: Karou is taking it to him. Kanerva: Brawler focusing on that arm. Ricky: I’m surprised Brawler can focus on anything. Kanerva: Brawler fully in control here picking
apart Karou. Ricky: I wouldn’t say he’s fully in control, you know? Kanerva: It’s always a bit, you know, anarchy, little bit of a loose cannon. Ricky: Yah I’m not sure he could trust himself. He is certainly taking it to Karou a lot more than I expected. Yup. I’m going to tell you right now, that will be a pivotal moment in this match up. Brawler’s going to have a hard time recovering from that one. Kanerva: Took a little bit too much, oh there’s some arm work of his own, wow! Pretty Ricky: Again, to what I speaking to, Karou showing more brains than he was before, more than people give
him credit for. He went right to that arm they saw the injury, he’s attacking it. Kanerva: Oh, just ringing it in. Ricky: Think about how scary that is, not only is he a monster, but he’s intelligent. Kanerva: Folks, as you can see Ricky was talking earlier
about those welts on the Brawler’s back, Ricky: They’re getting bigger. Kanerva: It’s like a mood ring but for injury. Ricky: I almost didn’t know if that was there before the match started, looking at this beating, my God with headbutts Karou is attacking it. Kanerva: There’s a total disregard for his own safety with those head butts, goes for the pin. Ricky: Doesn’t seem to be affecting him though. Kanerva: Just a two count. Ricky: I’ll tell you, when I throw those head butts, they knock me loopy for a couple of days, Karou does not seem to have that problem, just driving his
head. Kanerva: Incredible. Ricky: Oh, that is not a good sign for Brawler. Kanerva: International sign of “it’s over.” Wow. Ricky: Karou himself is pretty well the International sign for “it’s over,” and he’s showing that with these huge punches to the jaw of Brawler. The British Jawer. Kanerva: Bit of brawling himself there from Karou, Fans are loving it here, Junction Craft Brewing. Yow. Karou’s gonna wake up with one heck of a
headache, pounding like Bolo Fung. Ricky: You have to assume he’s gonna get a big
headache, look at the size of his head. Kanerva: True. All that hair. Ricky: You can say it’s hair, look at his skull. He looks jurassic. Kanerva: Wow. Just an exchange. Both men Ricky: Those are big boys to be bouncing like that ladies and gentlemen, that is not easy on the spinal cord. Kanerva: It has been tit-for-tat in this
match folks and I don’t know who’s going to get up to their feet first. Ricky: Let’s hope that one of them does. Kanerva: This crowd chanting behind them, really just in an appreciation of this match, this contest. Seems to be equal footing there. British Brawler with an Oktoberforearm. I think that’s it folks. Oh, faked him out. That’s it. I think that’s it folks. Oh my gosh. Karou just persevering. Ricky: Persevering and perspiring. Karou is my apologies, Karou is on his back a lot
more than I had expected Kanerva: Maybe it was a bit of a thinking
man’s game there from the monster. Ricky: Wouldn’t have been expecting it, but there they are, the knees to the spine. Kanerva: Laying the trap. Again both men struggling to get to
their feet after this brutal contest. Karou seeming to have the slight advantage. Self-induced concussions here for Karou. Oh wow, the whole ring moved. Ricky: That is very uncomfortable. Kanerva: That was a belly-to-brawler right there, but it
wasn’t enough Ricky: Belly-to-brawler, good one, yah I hate that guy, I really do, I think his blonde hair is smug, but quite particularly, he got
squashed like a bug there by Karou, and the fact that he kicked out, does speak to this man’s intestinal fortitude. Kanerva: Truly unbelievable folks. I don’t know what Karou needs to do, oh goodness, no! Wow folks. Switching it up. Brawler in disbelief that that pinning combination didn’t work out for him. I don’t know where he got the energy to even
pull out any of those moves. Ricky: Yah, the time that Karou threw Brawler across the ring, and then the ring shifted six inches, Kanerva: You gotta think, Ricky: Pretty well I had written Brawler off at that point, I can’t believe, there’s another moment. Bradley: Ladies and gentlemen, one minute remains in this contest. Kanerva: I think that’s got to rev them up, Ricky: Nine minutes of these two slugging at
each other I can’t believe the intensity of these two behemoths. Kanerva: In this last minute,
we’re gonna see a flurry I think folks they’re gonna want to decide this in the
ring. Ricky: Oh this really comes down to who wants it more, I talked about how big Karou is, that doesn’t seem to matter right now, Brawler’s coming at him with a
lot more than I expected. Kanerva: Karou drawing on the monster! Ricky: Standing toe-to-toe, throwing strikes at each other, my God, one man’s got to go down for this match to finish properly! Kanerva: Chopping the tree down,
Oktoberfist living up to its name! Ricky: Who wants it?! My God! Kanerva: Karou just, he can’t take any more
blows, neither man. Shaking the cobwebs. Ricky: I cannot describe you how
long one minute feels when you are in a war like this, ladies and gentlemen these
two are gladiators here tonight! Kanerva: Wow! Oh folks. I just saw mass moved through the air with speed that I did not think possible. No, that can’t be it. That can’t
be it. Bradley: Ladies and gentlemen, time has elapsed, this match is a draw. Kanerva: The fans, they’re not happy with it right now, but I think they’re happy with what they saw. Bradley: Ladies and gentlemen,
how about a round of applause for the competitors, Karou and the British
Brawler. Ricky: Well, that clears up that mystery,
Brawler was not good enough to get it done, Karou was clearly the better man. Kanerva: He hung on. Both men
are going to be feeling this match for maybe the rest of their careers. Ricky: Brawler’s back looks rough. Yeah, I would definitely say that Karou won that one. Head butt him Karou. Knock him unconscious. Don’t touch him Karou! Kanerva: Fans not sure what they want here. Beautiful display of Junction City Wrestling
sportsmanship. Ricky: Neither of them won, neither of them won, don’t raise their hands! That’s gross. Kanerva: This is more acrimonious
than your wedding! Ricky: How dare you?!

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