hello, hello my name is Markiplier how’s it going guys I’m Chad wild clay and whatever you do don’t leave a comment below until after the video otherwise you might end up looking like a fool again what’s this roast markiplier roast markiplier why would I roast markiplier I mean that guy is awesome he’s never done anything bad to me like that punk PewDiePie this fucking guy got nine million muse of this trend now the real cringe begins and pineapple apple pen. Ugghh he put himself in there this kind of shit makes me want to die what the heck’s going on with my computer? stop stop! What the heck! Why do you guys want me to roast markiplier so bad? do you know something I don’t huh let’s go ask Vy. Wait who is she talking to? hello Vy! Hi mark is my hair looking fabulous it sure is Vy!. Yeah it is! Thanks Mark it’s no big deal. i like only spent like five minutes on it. yeah it’s nice to finally see you even if it is just a video yeah I wish we could have gotten dinner or something Oh dinner ya did it sounds great when you want to get together and do that whoa we’re on our barely first date over here this could turn into love after all Vy’s on a date with Markiplier? Goodbye Vy… that didn’t even hurt! Oh my gosh! ow! Ow! My ankle! Owee owee ow! Oh it hurts so bad! I gotta call 911 oh my gosh hello everybody hello everybody hello everybody my name is….Markiplier Hello everybody my name is markiplier and welcome to let’s play…fu… hello? yeah how’s it going man? i just got hit by a car man oh shoot that was you I i hit oh dude I’m so sorry man I was so distracted dude you know what I always say man kids in the backseat cause accidents and accidents in the backseat cause kids ahahaha you are filled with such wisdom yeah and speaking of kids when are you end up being a kid not anytime soon man I just caught her dating freaking markiplier what do what you come on you got to try to get her back I’m supposed to do that man you know a woman can resist a man with such a huge colassal subscriber count! It’s like i always said, it’s not the size of the oven that matters it’s what’s inside and you know what’s inside this oven a roast a markiplier roast exactly thanks Matthias you really are YouTube Genius this will be the most difficult roast of my life i knew i had to be in peak physical condition so I got on my gear and was ready for training I knew I would have to harness the power of the ninja my name is he Hanate Wakuso Shiseo Tadashite Teriyaki Suzuki Honda Civic Hello, my name is Bob and today we are going to be teaching you how to be ninja First lesson in being a ninja is to be loud unecesarry sounds when you hit things Lesson two. You must be able to catch anything with your chopsticks ok guys just finished my training and it is time to roast markiplier first just got put on some clothes and we’ll be good to go oh great the powers got to go out right when i’m naked? what the heck why the heck is this on Chad? Chad! hello? Come one! Close! Hello we’re here! Chad! oh shoot my friends are here they can’t see me watching this! come on close! he didn’t pick up his phone so… it won’t close close close you stupid Markiplier window oh and the powers back on alright! Chad your door was unlocked! We’re in your house we’re in your house oh god not again get off my screen Oh my god! wow you were busy! No no no no i’m not watching this I was trying to close… you ah… what ya doing? it’s not what it looks like there’s no it’s not what it looks like it just looks like your jerking off to Markiplier videos. No, no guys, no it’s not what it looks like! uh we’re here if you want to…. i’m just gonna go get a Mt. Dew. alright you want anything? Steve likes feet it’s not weird yeah it’s weird. I think it’s really weird. OK markiplier I’ve had enough Here comes the cupcake! oh hey Chad! Yes Screen team so glad you guys answered I need your help roasting markiplier what why roast markiplier is awesome because he’s awesome! Because he’s trying to steal Vy! Are you kidding me? well you need to tell him to beat it that’s perfect i’ll roast him to beat it great idea grab your guitar and get roasting Hey Markiplier, don’t you come around here Don’t want to see your face since you shaved off that beard A fire’s on your head Oh sorry that’s just your hair. So Beat it! Just beat it! You better run because you stole my girlfriend You’re gonna see some blood like when you met Warfstache you’ll have so many cuts call you Mark Edward Scissorhands So beat it! With this Fischbach Diss Track! Just Beat it! Beat it! No one wants you, even Chica! I’m roasting you harder than PewDiePie Friend-zoning your boyfriend JackSepticEye! Just Beat It! Beat it! Just Beat it. Beat it! Bob, Wade and Tyler they always have your back! you must be bribing them with lots of cheese it snacks or maybe they’re plastered playing drunken minecraft So beat it! Just beat it! You are a grown man but you’re easily scared When playing games with an animatronic teddy bear how’s your voice so low when you never grew a pair so beat it, go become an engineer Just Beat It, beat it, beat it, beat it, No one wants you, even Chica! I’m roasting you harder than Pewdiepie Friend-zoning your boyfriend JackSepticEye Just Beat It, beat it, just beat it, beat it, Oh hey Tyler! Hey Chad what are you up to? uh… i’m totally not in the middle of roasting markiplier right now what would make me wait why would you want to roast mark because I caught him on a skype call with Vy trying to date her oh they were just recorded a video together for yotube. Wait that was for a YouTube video yeah it was fake not everything you see on youtube is real Chad for instance this roast you’re making right now but what do you mean not every video on youtube is real including this roast video so this whole roast about Markiplier I was just kidding the whole time? and markiplier’s actually like a super awesome dude so everybody who left to dislike already they just didn’t understand that this was a joke i guess i’m gonna need you guys to give this video a like to help counter way all those dislikes from people who just didn’t get that this was a fake roast… no no I’m not watching, not watching isn’t it just looks like you’re jerking off to Markiplier videos… Steve’s likes feet so… It’s not weird. um oh let me catch up with you baby hey uh you know uh show me this one from the beginning to roll back oh you don’t have the mouse… where did the mouse go? Where’d the mouse go, Chad? it’s in your ass?