Naturopathic Quesadillas – You Suck at Cooking (episode 67)

Naturopathic Quesadillas – You Suck at Cooking (episode 67)


When cooking naturopathically, it’s really important that you start with natural ingredients Meaning only ingredients found in our solar system. No dirty Alpha Centauri peppers or disgusting Kruger 60 black beans Just Earth Stuff Before we start, we’re gonna tape up a few coffee filters over the window screen. That way all of the oxygen reaching our food is purified. This will also keep any coffee from entering the kitchen through the window as well We’re gonna take an onion and give it a little acupunctural therapy. You’re aiming to really stimulate those flavor meridians and get those layers flowin’ with as much chi as possible And then smash it against the wall. [loose crumbling noise] And then safely sterilize your needles with crystal infused water. Then we’re gonna take a vaccine-free red pepper and quickly put it through a past-life regression therapy session [ticking noises] [Deep voice] Wow, you’re a total loser, hahaha! [watch clacks] [finger snap] Now that the pepper’s had a chance to confront its past life issues, You wanna gently pick it up and smash it against the wall. I’m gonna start the cooking process by magnetizing the pan because magnets. And instead of electricity, we’re gonna cook with 100% positron flow. We’re gonna coat the pan with a medicine from Central and South America called coconut oil It’s a cure-all which is a really nice thing to use. And we’re gonna get that onion and get that red pepper in there Next we’ll take a can of black beans, drain out the ayahuasca they’ve been marinating in and give them a clockwise sacred spiral hydro-swirl. Next we’ll take an heirloom tomato and we’re going to use cupping to suck all the toxins to the surface
[sucking noises] Chop off the toxic part and put that inside an airtight container Keep in mind that toxins are toxic, So be careful to dispose of them in a suitable place in a safe and secure manner. With a proper label so no-one will be harmed. And now the rest of the tomato is perfectly healthy. I’m gonna take a block of cheddar here and marinate it in some green smoothie. Much like the cupping, this will help to detoxify and make it extra healthy Then we’ll rinse that off and throw it against the wall to express any residual anger we might have been holding on to, and then we’ll shred it. Let’s add the tomato and black beans into the pan mixture. Get out some salt, Triple P Maybe cumin, some hot sauce. If hot sauce is too hot for you, you can easily make homeopathic hot sauce by putting a drop into a container of water. Pour that water into a bathtub full of water, Take some of that water and pour that into the ocean and now the whole ocean is homeopathic hot sauce But be careful, it could make your dish taste cold. Now I’m gonna take a tortilla and remove the bio frequency healing stickers I put on here. They’re NASA grade, carbon lined, infused with subharmonic signals obviously. I’ve got some on my arms here, too I’m rocking the sacred six frequencies, which have their roots in Gregorian chants, so I’m feeling [multiple voices chanting] ♪ pretty f**king good right now ♪ We’re gonna take another pan and spray it with some chemicals because being too healthy can make you sick. Gonna throw down that tortilla, put down a layer of cheese Put in some of that filling, then some more cheese, and another tortilla on top. We’ll let that heat up for a bit and before you flip, use some acupressure to keep the quesadillas from getting motion sick. And a good technique for flipping is to take another pan and create a therapeutic isolation chamber and then just Flip that over. If you don’t have an extra pan, just take some clothes pins to lock down the edges This is a real stress-free way to flip a quesadilla Throughout this whole process, you want to make sure you’re getting a reflexology treatment as well. How’s that going Devin? Devin: Well I’m just focusing on clearing channels– Be quiet Devin, your negative voice vibrations ruin everything. If you want to make a more authentic Mexican quesadilla, you can take some Oaxaca cheese Put in some ham, more cheese, then fold it over like a smart person for easy flipping (whispering) You can add some steak to the other one, but don’t tell anybody because cows aren’t naturopathic. And that’s basically it It’s hard to go wrong with quesadillas. You can put anything you want inside of it. If you’re finding it just doesn’t quite taste right, you might not have stimulated the onion’s flavor meridians quite enough Instead you can start by putting the onion inside the onion as a self-awareness ceremo–[buffering] [whistling] [splashing] [scrubbing noises]

100 thoughts on “Naturopathic Quesadillas – You Suck at Cooking (episode 67)”

  1. Imagine walking through a ridge to find Tupperware labeled toxic in the middle of no where
    “Is this like, a secret government project?”
    opens up
    IT’S FUCKING TOMATOES

  2. Im laughing very hard when he said "So im feeling pretty f**king good right now" even though curse words are suppose to get rid of your anger LOL

  3. Sometimes when i watch your videos i really regret some life choices , like the choice to watch one of your videos

  4. Step 1, Take sharp blade and scrape off old silicone. Step 2, tape straight line 2-3 mm up tile. Step 3, place new silicone and smooth with wet finger.

  5. i smashed the tomato against the wall instead of the pepper and cleaned it but the stain was still there. it's been a year. i wonder when my mom's coming home.

  6. I love this you must be very spiritual and the archangels are literally watching you all the time !! U made my day thank you ☺️ love you

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