Nikki Glaser Slams Alec Baldwin’s Family Life (Full Set) – Roast of Alec Baldwin

Nikki Glaser Slams Alec Baldwin’s Family Life (Full Set) – Roast of Alec Baldwin

– Sean Hayes! Keep it going for the reason Mike Pence says
we have hurricanes. [laughter] You look like the little man
on top of a wedding cake that a bakery would refuse
to make for you. “Will & Grace” was really
the best you could do. It just… Just Jack!
Just Jack is– it’s also what I’m gonna do
in my hotel room alone after sitting next to
Blake Griffin all night. Jesus Christ. You’re so hot.
What the fuck? You’re so–I’d fuck you
in front of my grandparents. I–that’s how– I almost want to, you know? I feel like Mimi
would be proud. Blake, you look like
a black guy that got made by a printer
running out of ink. That’s– Yeah. Chris Redd is here
because Comedy Central wasn’t sure if Blake
was black or not. You look great, Chris. Uh, you always dress like
a nine-year-old who just found $1,000
on the sidewalk. [laughter] At this point, like,
what can you say about Jeff Ross
that he hasn’t heard before? It’s like–uh, oh.
“I respect you.” Um, “You look nice tonight.” “Here’s your salad, sir.”
Stuff like that. Okay, Jeff, you look like
if Popeye only ate Popeye’s. [laughs] Checks out. – Come back, no.
– No, Jeff, no. Don’t break the couch.
Your face… Your face has a dad bod. Let’s– Jeff gets really hot girls
and I just–I don’t– how do you get 10s? Teens, I’m sorry,
I read that wrong. How do you get– you have the sex appeal
of a gymnastics doctor. I just don’t understand. [scoffs] Robert De Niro is here. Looking like ALF. I can’t even believe I get
to share this stage with you tonight,
Robert De Niro. And by this stage, I mean
the final one of your life. It’s– [audience groaning] I’m sorry. I don’t feel right
about any of this. Caitlyn Jenner,
I just want to thank you for all you’ve done
for the trans movement and the size 16
stiletto industry. You were such
an incredible athlete. People forget
just how fast you once ran from your first family to go
be on a reality show. [laughter] – I like that one. – Seriously, though, I know
being a new mom is hard. But even Casey Anthony knows the current location
of her daughter. – Oh, my God. – Okay. Thank you. You’re a Republican.
I don’t know why. You’ve already gained control
over a woman’s body. [laughter] What does that party have to do
to lose your support? Be your son? [audience groaning] Caitlyn, I know you’ve only
publicly identified as a woman for a few years,
but I just want you to know that I know that, deep down,
you have always been a […]. And, uh– [laughter] I spell it with a K,
though, for you. You’re great.
Thank you, you’re great. Alec Baldwin,
what an honor to be here roasting Justin Bieber’s wife’s
oldest, fattest uncle. It’s like– I’ll never forget
that voice mail, um, that–what you called
your daughter Ireland a thoughtless little pig. Um, that’s got to be
one of the worst things you can call your daughter. After Ireland, actually.
That’s– that name, yikes. Speaking of terrible names,
your wife’s name is Hilaria. Is it “Hi-lair-ia”?
It’s–it’s “Hi-lair-ia”? – “E-lar-ia”
– “E-lar-ia”? Oh, it’s so stupid.
Okay, um– It doesn’t matter.
She’s so hot. Dude, she’s so hot and fit. Does getting screamed at
burn calories? You have four kids
under the age of six. I just–how do you do it? I mean, isn’t your semen
just oatmeal at this point? [laughter] Oh, Robert just got excited
when I said “oatmeal.” He started salivating. Your– your night nurse
is warming it up backstage. It’ll be ready in the break. I’m such a fan of the Baldwins. I’ve never been so sure that four people have buried
a hooker together. [laughter] In all seriousness,
I want to thank Alec. Um, in his memoir,
he bravely admitted that he had once
considered suicide. And I just want to say that
that meant a lot to me because I have also considered your suicide. And I have some ideas. I even know what
I’m gonna wear. Alec, thank you so much for
having me here tonight. Thank you. [cheers and applause] [upbeat music] – You are fucking funny. – The Comedy Central Roast
of Alec Baldwin

100 thoughts on “Nikki Glaser Slams Alec Baldwin’s Family Life (Full Set) – Roast of Alec Baldwin”

  1. Nicely Done Nikki…(!)…I knew You had "IT" in You…('coz I know You Are More than Your recent Nexflix performance…)👍👏🤘😎

  2. Don't know what her stand up is like (and the best roasters haven't necessarily been the best stand ups), but this is the best roast I've seen in a while. Probably since Jeff Ross on Bieber.

  3. She was great. Her jokes were roasting the hell out of them. So not pg13 love it. I hate when people try to keep it pc like why it's a roast. This woman deserve more screen time.

  4. Meh, feels incomplete to me…
    Also the literal hat's off from the mic bumping roast master himself for that hilarious Popeye joke but still feels like an incomplete set to me though, man too bad…

  5. Comedy Central's writing staff writes the jokes. If ignorance was a currency, this comment section would be filthy rich.

  6. Most of these were awesome, though I must say Baldwin's ones were tasteless for a comedic roast, whether they are supported by reality or not.

  7. When Roseanne and Lisa Lampanelli retired from stand up there was a void in dirty comedy, Amy and Nikki have filled that void.

  8. that was the best performance i have ever seen out of Alec Baldwin. total poker face when he was accused of murder. bravo!

  9. Nikki Glaser killed IT and THEM… CONSISTENCY IS KEY and she had the master key in this roast… best turn I've seen in years.

  10. Robert De zero and Caitlyn Jenner??? I seriously just threw up!!! Two perfect examples of a worthless waste of life!
    Robert De Niro doesn't need a sex change because we already know he's a bitch!

  11. Wtf….she got more funny since I last saw her. Roast comedy is not my favorite but she nailed exactly what it's supposed to be.

  12. you read the comments and all the libtards praise the evil whore like she is a saint…. I like her she is cool.. but cmon guys they are just celebrities evil ones

  13. Jenner should never be famous another day in his life. Literally killed a person and is still a figure in pop culture because of wanting to be a woman.

  14. I mean it's a good roast but it's all scripted x____x people are finding out that people like darker and darker comedy so the jokes are better and everyone's catching on IE the joker movies that just came out people loved cause it was so dark lol

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