Welcome back, you beautiful weeaboos, to another episode of Sebastian Roasts! On the last episode of Sebastian Roasts, We went through some of your brilliant poems. Many of them were fantastic. Now I want to see how many of you can “pick me up” so to say. So let’s get right into it… Are you a teletubby? Because I just came all over your face…. This one is one of my… personal favorites. Since the theme is pick up lines, i’ll do as requested! Bends down and starts to pick up lines on the floor Oh! It looks like we have a person who likes to think they’re smart. Perhaps dreaming of darkness, you were SO unable to make your own pick up line. you thought taking my words literally would compensate and be funny… Oh- Well you are incorrect. Pluto says Sebastian you are my master can you fetch me some balls To my dearest Pluto, Stay the fuck out of the anime, you are NOT canon. Ho- Ciel Phantomhive sa- Oh, Ciel, please don’t do this. EVERYONE will get the wrong idea… you’re hotter than the fire that killed my parents. Wow. You wanted to pick me up so badly Ciel, you would dishonor your family… Hmm. Fitting… Grrrrrell Bassy says: OH BASSY~ Lets add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply! As tempting of an offer as it is, Grell, my dear, I must decline because you are rrrepulsive. Do you have a name or can i call you mine Ooh, that’s a cute one. I like it. Pikachu15 says: I suck at pick up lines but i hope this is good. Hello, my dear. Would you stop for just a moment. I would like to say you’re an angel, but I prefer the naughty type so, just for me my dear, will you become a demon? We will commit the ultimate sin of love. Even if you are religious, a demon butler and had gotten a nun to commit the sin of love, so I am sure that our relationship will be purely phantom-phine. I see what you did there and I disapprove on every level. I seem to have lost my phone number. Can you give me yours? Are you my self-esteem? Cause I’ve been looking for you all my life. I will admit, that is slightly depressing… Pick up line. I am a Teletubby. Hooh! Hooh, is it me or is it getting hot in here? Better- Better take off my shirt and jacket… Hoh hoh… Are you ciel from Black Butler? Because i want to see you bent over in a happy meal. Yo Sebastian, did you sit in sugar, cause you got a sweet ass. Ooh, thank you! Why on Earth would I sit in sugar?! It’s such a waste! Why would anyone want to do that?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! I’ll treat you like my homework, slam you on the table and do you all night. I imagine that I, just as your homework, would feel VERY unsatisfied… Sebastian, I’d offer you a cigarette but it looks like you’re already smoking hot. “My pick-up line rap.” oooh You’re hot, i’ m not, but i wanna bang you a lot. Use protection, for dat erection, cuz we don’t want to have perplexion, But just maybe, I can have your baby, because you’re driving me crazy, I may be only 13, WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT?! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO. No 13-year olds! What on Earth is wrong with you 13-year olds?! Go watch “Finding Nemo” Or… Or “Dora the Explorer” for God’s sake! But not “Teletubbies”, that’s mine… Demons may fall from heavan, I may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall is in love with me. Ooh, that one was quite nice. It was a poem as well. Fantastic! Ooh, creativity! I’m not great at pickup lines so um DO YOU WANNA SMASH YOUR FACE WITH MY FACE – god dammit I did it again. Yes… Yes you did… Rrrrrrrowl Rrrrrr What the- What the fuck is wrong with me? You say you are straight. Well, so is spaghetti, before you get it wet. Ooh! That one was VERY creative! Kudos to you, my friend. I can’t even roast it… But next time, don’t write “pick-up line” before a pick-up line. I’ll- I’ll know it’s a pick-up line, come on… I saw this one quite a lot… Hey baby, i”ll treat you like my big toe. And bang you on every single piece of furniture I have. Ooh! Well I must decline, as I’m not a big fan of ruining furniture you know? Are you cinderella? Cause i see that dress coming off at midnight. Kill me please. Well, I really wasn’t a fan of Cinderella previously, but the way things are going I might have to change my mind! “Sebastian are you a cat-” I wish… Because i’m feline a paw-sitive connection between the both of us. Please take meow’t on a date and I will love you fur-ever. You know, I was a very big fan of felines in general but now I feel like you’ve just butchered them for me… Want to hear a joke, Undertaker? Yes, um, it’s yourself. Burn, my friend! Burn in hell. My love for you is like diarrhea. I can’t hold it in. Now, this could just be me, or perhaps you need a bit more fiber in your diet. And you know, it’s not the love thing… Whatever. here’s a few of the greatest, told by yours truly. I don’t mean to pikachu, but let’s be onix you have a pretty nice ash. I’d break a vase any day so that we could KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE. you’re like my 3D maneuvering gear, I can’t make it in this world without you. I’ll love you longer than ALL the naruto episodes. Has the world even existed that long, I don’t think it has? Sorry, your so hot I mistook you for the Phantomive manor. Oh, like I haven’t heard that one a million times. Do you have a Death note? Because every time you smile I get a heart attack. Are you Ciel? Because I’d tighten your corset anytime. Sign this butler up. Kelly you were SO close to picking me up, you really were. But… come on! Phantomhive and a fire joke? Like we haven’t heard that one… a million times before in every single thing ever mentioning Black Butler. No? Come on. You can do better than this, Kelly! Come on! Get. Your. Shit. Together, Kelly! Sebastian? Are you a cat whisperer? Cause I bet you know what this pussy wants. Ooh! Well, if Betty is anything to go by, I surly do know what the pussy wants~ My tear soaked pillow won’t be the only thing that’s wet tonight. Oh my gosh… jeez… You must be the square root of two. cause I feel irrational around you. Math and a pick-up line… what more could a butler want?! Fantastic job! A poem in a pick-up line! Fantastic! Teletubbies are red, Teletubbies are blue, you can try to roast this pick up line but it’s already hotter than you. This isn’t supposed to be a poem but can’t a girl rhyme? Because my singing will turn you on faster than Ciel’s parents died. I know this poem was lousy, and my pickup lines were sappy. But me and you could make a hardcore yaoi just like Ciel when he calls his butler daddy. Ooh! Well, if I wasn’t already naked, I certainly would be. Let’s play Titanic. But it turns out the iceberg isn’t the only rock solid thing right now if you catch my drift. The devil isn’t the only thing that will be inside you. Very kinky there! Let’s commit the perfect crime! I’ll steal your heart and you steal mine. Oh! How cute… But how about… No. Are you a happy meal toy? Because I’d like to get you bent over and vibrating. I’m very surprised anyone remembers that quote to be honest… You want a pick up line? I shall do it in a poem. Because you are the xylem, to my phloem. Ooh, that was very nice and someone has been enjoying their biology classes. Yes! Love it! I’m as obsessed with you, as eleven year olds are with lemons. I’ll take you to visit the teletubbies. and we’ll bask in their radiant presence. Ooh, that was a very nice line. Your the boku to my pico, with grammar oh so sexy. Your voice is so beautifully British, I almost had an apoplexy. I can’t give you a life. I can’t open my legs wider. However, I can satisfy your feline kink. For I am Betty the Tiger. Oh, yes! Now i know that wasn’t one line, but don’t you think it was classy? I swear on the reaper Grell Sutcliff, I’ll make Sebastian my Bassy. How about… No! I won’t be anybody’s “Bassy” Also, can I say that I nearly got myself an apoplexy, trying to say the bloody word “apoplexy”? Holy- Holy moley that’s hard to say… Well, well, well, thank you all so very much for joining me. And I bet a lot of you are wondering, “What is the theme for the next episode?” Well, I’m glad you all asked! The next video theme will be “Rrrrraps”. So throw a demon a beat and hit that booty and lets get some sick rrraps going! I will see you beautiful people next time. The devil isn’t the only thing that will be inside of you- for fuck’s sake. (smol laugh) Jesus. (swishity swoosh) Are you a teletubby? Because I just came all over your face- (laughter) What the fuck… (more outtake swooshies) you want pick up line? i shall do it in a poem (Love you Connor


  1. Was I just in Hell or did you just smile at me?

    If being sexy was a crime,you would be guilty as charged.

    Mind if I walk you home?My parents always said to follow my dream.

    Eeek,he's leaving!Hey,aren't you forgetting something?

    Are you a magician?Because whenever I look at you,everything just DISAPPEARS.

    Can I tie your shoes?I don't want you falling….for somebody else.

    You wouldn't choose somebody else over a poor kitten covered in Tubby Custard,w-would you?

  2. Everything is wrong with us 13 year-olds,let me try on:
    A demon of hell
    Takes over Ciel and Grell
    They can’t have enough

    Well I tried like Sebastian tried to fix everyone else’s shit daily.

  3. Are you my anemia?
    Because every time I’m around you
    It makes me to faint

    Are you Todoroki? Because you’re so cool, it’s hot.

  4. When you say you like kitteys,I might think you like Titties oh shit my grammer is wrong, but I won’t worry when you fuck ciel..my grandma,no ciel is only…13?…thats rape to with this rap but I really want ciel to be my dad and no not the daddy kind that’s for you demon have fun fuckin tonight😏

    Fuck that took long…snickers I ruined y’alls fun?! NO DONT STOP CONTINUE MAKING BABIES TONIGHT!!

  5. Caligirl 209 in the house you're a chicken bock bock don't want to hear you scream cockadoodledoo boohoo you crying because my grandma ain't so good I don't care at least I tried you be hating you be running you don't know who I am I'm the Christian cast with you could bring you back to hell I don't run very good but so what my grammar is so good but so what I'm going to take you down just how like a burn the Mansion down

  6. I defend my fellow thirteen year old for I am eleven as far as I am concerned I am leavin and let's not forget as far as raps are concerned
    beep EM IN THE beep

    edit: I love yaoi and I think you and ceil would look cute together oh let's not forget the kids 😍😍😍😍😍


  7. Oh my God I can't wait I can't wait to meet you special and I have a crush on you so bad it's like not funny and I was wondering if you could call me

  8. My version of one of them: I'd treat you like my homework, leave you in my bag and forget about you

  9. Tigers are orange and black with line leading down their back.

    But isn't it better to throw your kicks in the air? I believe it's like party on the left.

    Sorry not sorry but looks like we're going here again.

    "Burn in hell like Ciels parents burnt in the manor" can you not? Like let stop with this.

    Ciel has feelings we all do. Don't use it as some comedy relief in less you want the same pain inflected on..

    You have stupid lines that make my brain cells die. Sorry but I have nothing left to say.

    Good bye idiots who read this comment.

    (End of rap)

    Ps- I did not mean anything in this comment.

  10. My friends brother said grade 8s are horny like rabbits honestly he couldn't be more right boys in my class are gonna do such a good job being 13 in that aspect -_-

  11. I'm watching this at 2am' trying my best not to make a single laugh cause then I'll be caught and grounded lmao. 10/10 would not reccomend I have hiccups for trying to save my laugh (which is giving me even more work to not hiccup loud lmao) someone. Help me

  12. 3:34

    ;-; Slightly triggered by that.
    But hey, in nine days and five months I turn 14.

    Sorry for my grammar, but English isn't my first language. '^^

  13. I HATE Dora AND Finding Nemo!!! But that's just my opinion. Other people can enjoy them if they wanna

  14. Shame he never shows his true form here,
    People here would probably find him a Tennaka.🐈🐾🐅🐆🐯🐱🦁😸👊🏻

  15. Is it weird that my background is Sebastian and that I have a bunch of posters of him…I think I’m to obsessed..

  16. Heres my rap drop the beat Sebastian

    Did you think I was lying im already dead so im not scared of dying.Drinking the red out of your heart in one sitting.You think you got me pinned YOU MUST BE KIDDING.I raise the shadow demons up and the do my bidding.Boy im one thousand years old im a riddle.Bad little demon yeah im bad but not little. 😎 mic drop

  17. … my friends call me teletubbie…
    And my cousins name is Sabastian

    watching the video

    shoots self

  18. Sebastian: 3:13 I may be only 13 WTF no no no no no no, no 13 yr olds here

    Also Sebastian: 3:52 god dammit i did it again, yes you did rrrrrrrowl

    Me: that is the same 13 yr old girl you said should not be here😂😂

  19. I know your busy but can you add me to your to do list.
    There is something wrong with my phone,it doesn’t have your number in it.
    Even if there wasn’t gravity in earth I would still fall for you.
    If a fat man puts you in his bag at night, don’t worry I asked for you for my Christmas gift.

  20. I never tried to rap before, but I’ll give it a try, if I’m terrible and rapping, then you cant blame a 9 year old for trying.

    God made rivers, god made lakes, god made you, we all make mistakes.

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