Roast Battle – Final: Sarah Tiana vs. Mike Lawrence

Roast Battle – Final: Sarah Tiana vs. Mike Lawrence


(bell ringing) – Mike worked at
McDonald’s for eight years. And I think we all know why
he doesn’t work there anymore. They took away all
the incentives. I mean, they tore down
all the playgrounds. (audience laughing) – Really lucky that
both your opponents look like pedophiles. (audience laughing) You know, people are
asking me tonight if I’m gonna put
Sarah in her place. She’s a 38-year-old
woman in comedy. There isn’t one. (audience laughing) – That’s amazing, that’s funny. Mike hates sports, obviously. For someone who
doesn’t like sports, you sure do look
a lot like a 49er. Oh, It’s Canada, (bleep) me. (audience laughing) Goddamn it. – I’m sure someone will after. (audience laughing) Sarah’s vagina is like a bar. It’s dank, full of drunk dicks, and children are
immediately forced to leave. (audience laughing) – Don’t clap at that. Don’t clap at that. That’s ridiculous. Like that joke was like
everyone tampon I’ve ever used. Despite what I’ve been
told, I’m never shocked. (audience laughing) I don’t know, go ahead. Sure, why not? Nobody cares. No, I care. – Sarah, you know,
people think she’s slut, she’s actually a real prude. She won’t even put
out new material. (audience laughing) – [Voiceover] Last
joke of the battle. – Wow, thank you Dirt Vonnegut,
that was really funny. (audience laughing) Oh man. I don’t know if
you guys know this, but Mike sucked a
dick in college. He’s very open about it. That means between the
two of us on stage, we both know how
to swallow a ball, but he doesn’t know
how to throw one. (audience laughing) – Sarah does lots of
tours for the troops. Finally, a drone they send
overseas that never kills. (audience laughing)

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