RuPaul’s Drag Race Roasts 🔥 Supercut | Season 5, 9 & All Stars 4 | VH1

RuPaul’s Drag Race Roasts 🔥 Supercut | Season 5, 9 & All Stars 4 | VH1


(crowd cheering) (upbeat music) – Hello everyone and welcome to the first ever RuPaul Roast! (crowd cheering) (funky music) You all know Leslie Jordan? (crowd hollering) Don’t lie, know you don’t. (crowd laughs) Leslie Jordan is the only man on earth to have (bleep) more gay
men than Michelle Visage. (crowd laughs) Michelle Visage, you can take the girl out of New Jersey, but you can’t keep the
girl from giving blowjobs to homeless men along
the New Jersey turnpike. (Michelle laughs loudly) (crowd laughs) But we’re here celebrating RuPaul. RuPaul, you’ve been in the industry a long, long, long, long, long, long, long time. (crowd laughs) RuPaul is so old that
the Hindenburg Disaster nearly destroyed her Bar Mitzvah. (Michelle laughs loudly)
(crowd laughs) RuPaul is so old that her
colonoscopy bag is made of wood. (crowd laughs) RuPaul is so old that
when she opens her legs, all you hear is mpah. (crowd laughs) (RuPaul laughs loudly) She’s done movies, music, television, and I have just one thing to say, please stop immediately. (crowd laughs) Thank you mama, we love you. Mwah. (upbeat music) (crowd cheering) (RuPaul laughing loudly) It is my great pleasure
to bring to the stage our next “entertainer.” Roxxxy Andrews! And that’s Roxxxy three Xs,
just like her dress size. (crowd applauds) – Thank you Alaska, a tired boring, weird, second-rate
version of your husband. – Ooh.
(crowd oohs) – You know, RuPaul, you love for all of us to call you our mom. How the (bleep) can I call you my mom if you’re as old as my grandpa? (crowd laughs quietly) Michelle Visage, with that much make-up, all of your wigs, and (eerie music) light on your face, maybe we should call you (suspenseful music) Michelle mirage. (crowd laughs quietly) RuPaul, I wanna thank you
for having me here tonight. (crowd cheering) (funky music) – Yo, I’m so happy to be here. I never been out the house,
it’s been a long time y’all. I’m Ru good cousin from
the Brewster projects, she didn’t know I was comin’ tonight. You didn’t know I was
gonna be here, did ya? – No. (laughs) – And Michelle, you go
back with Michelle farther than you go back with me. You knew Michelle, when
Michelle was Michael. (crowd laughs loudly) So I’m flipping through
the channels and I’d say, you see Ru?! Ru on TV! I say, what the hell is he thinkin’?! (crowd laughs) You know at the beginning of the show, you come in a room girl, hello, hello! Girl, you look like the
black Pee Wee Herman. (crowd laughs loudly) (RuPaul laughs loudly) Pants so high, he look
like he in New Orleans at Hurricane Katrina girl. (RuPaul laughs loudly) (crowd laughs loudly) (Michelle laughs loudly) (funky music) – It’s gonna be hard to top Coco. But look at her, who would want to top Coco? (crowd laughs loudly) Michelle Visage is so
full of semen, period. (crowd laughs loudly) No seriously, she’s a whore. (crowd laughs loudly) No on to the grand high bitch herself. Ru, what I admire most
about you is your ability to look at these tired queens, and always find a compliment for them. You’re so full of (bleep),
the toilet’s jealous. (RuPaul laughs loudly) (crowd laughs loudly) Give it up for RuPaul. (crowd cheering) – Hello everyone! (crowd cheering) Having sex with Santino is a
lot like Ru’s music career, awkward. – You would know. (Michelle laughs) – I feel like whenever Michelle farts, a fairy gets her wings. (Michelle laughs loudly) (crowd laughs) Speaking of fairies, hello Leslie! (crowd laughs) RuPaul, with this long legs
and feathers you like to wear, you’re one step away from looking like Big Bird’s grandmother. (crowd applauds) – I thought I had
auditioned for RuPaul’s next (mic feedback) drag queen
of the year, (mic feedback) little did I know I was
walking into the largest cross-dressing convention of all time. (crowd quietly laughs) But this is about you, mother Ru. From the cracked-out
nights in the bathroom, or the cracking of your voice
at every live performance. (crowd laughs quietly) This was the best bunch of people you could get to come judge? (crowd laughs) Can I get a gay man? (suspenseful music) Santino Rice, what the hell you know about winning something? (crowd laughs) But you and Coco Montrese do share something in common, okay? And that’s not only your foolish wardrobe, but being a runner-up. Don’t get bitter, just
get better. (mic feedback) I thank you, and good night. (upbeat music) (crowd applauds) – Good evening ladies and gentlemen, wasn’t he delightful? (crowd laughs) God bless him, he tried his hardest. (Michelle laughs loudly) Oh (bleep). Where do I (bleep) start? Oh god. Let’s start with Leslie Jordan, it’s great to see you. The Help is one of my
favorite movies of all time, and your performance
was quite unbelievable, because you play a heterosexual male. (crowd laughs) You are (bleep) gayer, than the Fire Island production of Rent. (crowd laughs loudly) But enough with that old queen, let’s talk about the other
old queen on the panel, Michelle Visage. (crowd laughs loudly) Let me just look at my little
notes really quick. (bleep) God I had to write little
to fit all this in. (RuPaul laughs) Oh Jesus Christ. Michelle’s favorite movie
in the world is Showgirls, and much like Nomi Malone, she relies on the talents
of her black friend. (crowd laughs loudly) Ru, you are a (bleep) legend, and I just hope that you’re
having the time of your life, because you don’t have much time left. (crowd laughs loudly) (funky music) (RuPaul laughs loudly) Good night you guys! Thank you so much for coming out! (crowd cheering and applauding) (funky music) – Welcome to the second
annual RuPaul’s Roast. This year we are really
switching things up. Instead of RuPaul, we are going to roast a man of
true charisma, (crowd laughs) uniqueness, nerve and talent. (Michelle laughs loudly) Unfortunately, he was unavailable so it’s going to be Michelle Visage. (crowd laughs loudly) Michelle, we know you for
being a kind, patient, shero, and gonorrhea clinics
know you as patient zero. (crowd laughs loudly) Girl, you have had more
(bleep) in you than a urinal at Dodger’s Stadium. (RuPaul laughs) The only difference is, they get cleaned up after a Grand Slam. (crowd laughs loudly) Now ladies and gentlemen, just remember, if you
liked my performance, my name is Shea Coulee, and if you hated it, it’s Nina Bonina Brown. (crowd laughs loudly) (upbeat music) – Thank you Shea Coulee, that was extremely edifying humor. (suspenseful music) Oh sorry, am I using that word correctly? Not edifying, I know that one. It was humor that I wasn’t
sure worked in this context. (crowd laughs) Tonight we really do have an opportunity, to salute empowering
representation in the media. We have an out and proud lesbian comedian, thank you so much Ross Matthews. (crowd laughs) Ross Matthews has the
face of a young gay man, and the voice of an adult woman. (Ross giggles) So the opposite of Tamar Braxton. (crowd laughs) – Biiiiitch. Gonna get yo ass. (crowd laughs) – Its now come time to talk
about Michelle Visage herself. Michelle is so Jersey, her idea of classical music is Lisa Lisa. (Michelle laughs loudly) (crowd laughs loudly) Michelle Visage is so Jersey, she calls her pubic hair
the Garden State Expressway. (crowd laughs) Let’s not even get started
on the Holland Tunnels. (crowd laughs) Michelle Visage is so– I have more of these. (crowd laughs) Michelle Visage, is so Jersey she wanted to call her
second child White Flight. Oh well, that one worked in my mind. (crowd laughs) And now, a queen who combines
all of the excitement of smiling, with the thrill
of just standing there. (crowd laughs) Give it up, for Valentina. (funky music) (crowd applauds) – Mama RuPaul, you are the shadiest queen, ’cause you let Michelle
Visage look so busted, on Season Three, and Four, and Five and Six and Seven and Eight. (crowd laughs) And girl, that’s your friend, that’s (bleep) up. (crowd laughs) Michelle is such a cochina,
that she knows how to say and spell harder, in six different languages. (crowd laughs) Michelle, you is such a tired-ass ho, that when you got carpel tunnel, from giving out free hand job, she just became left-handed. (crowd laughs) (RuPaul laughing) – I’m so confused. – Ross, you’re just so cute, and so sweet. You just remind me of a cute hamster. I just want to shove you up my butt. (RuPaul laughs loudly)
(crowd laughs loudly) Muhh! – Thank you Pedro, ma wee bien. (RuPaul laughs loudly) Please excuse the way I’m dressed, I have to go feed the chickens after this, and I didn’t wanna wear my good things. I sometimes even have
to wrestle a few of ’em. Michelle, you know all about
wrestling (bleep) don’t ya? (RuPaul laughs loudly) I think we have a lot in common, from the same taste in hairspray, to the same units of Botox fillers, lifts, tucks, nips, and hips. Michelle, every time I
walk the runway you have this pungent look on your face, kind of like you gotta (bleep). (crowd laughs) I reckon they have some
laxatives for that. Just a secret, we all poop. (slow beat music) (crowd applauds) – Let’s get this Roast a’cookin’. Can we please, put our hands together, for the one, the only
Michelle Visage’s breasts. They’re the real star of the show. Sorry RuPaul. Hm. I find it hilarious that
Michelle Visage judges a talent competition. I don’t know about you, but you actually have talent to do that? (sporadic laughs) (sighs) And I’m pretty sure having
one song in the 90s, that no one even remembers, doesn’t qualify you to be a
judge on such a big TV show. Good thing she’s been sucking
RuPaul’s (bleep) for so long. (crowd groans) (sighs) And we’ve got Tamar Braxton in the house. Tame R Braxton, or however
you say it. (chuckles) She’s Toni Braxton’s less talented, more annoying sister. (sporadic laughter) Anyways, now that Michelle’s
(bleep) breath has stunk up this entire stage, I’d like to introduce our next
minty contestant, Peppermint. (funky music) (crowd applauds) – Hey y’all! Thank you Farrah Moan. (crowd laughs) Ross, everyone says that
your voice is annoying and high-pitched. But, I actually love
the sound of your voice, right now. (crowd laughs) Shh, don’t talk. Don’t talk. Michelle Visage, Michelle, Michelle, not since Destiny’s Child has
a Michelle become so famous for riding somebody else’s coattails. (crowd laughs loudly) RuPaul, all smiles. Ross, all smiles. Michelle, poker face. No, seriously. Someone poke her face. (crowd laughs loudly) It doesn’t even move! Michelle says, no to everything. Michelle, you like my dress? No. You like my make-up? No. Bitch, where the hell were
you when somebody asked you if you wanted to write that book? (RuPaul laughs loudly) (crowd laughs) It’s a great book Michelle, said no one. (crowd laughs) Honestly, I fell in
love with you Michelle, watching you and RuPaul on VH1, and I’m so honored to
share this moment with you. So thank you. Happy 90th Birthday Michelle. (crowd laughs and applauds) – Hey babies. It’s me Mother Maybelleline, Nina Bonina Banana
Fofana Osama Bin Laden’s brown great aunt. (crowd laughs) Coming all the way from the
lions, tigers and bears, the shape of the Lord
Missionary Baptist Church. Praise the lord. (crowd laughs) Moving on to the man of the hour. RuPaul’s secretary, Michelle Visage. (Michelle and RuPaul laughing loudly) You know Michelle, your
face reminds me of my hip, stiff. (crowd laughs) Oh Jesus. (crowd laughs) What’s your name baby? (crowd laughs) (hand thudding table) You are a whoooooooole lotta woman. (crowd laughs) Mmhmm. (crowd laughs) Well, we normally save the best for last. But in this case, we had to settle for Alexis Michelle. (crowd laughs) (funky music) – Oh, Michelle, Michelle, Michelle. In honor of your big night, I wore your favorite color girl. (laughs) Um… We, have so much in common Michelle. We have the theater running
in our veins Michelle. You also have several venereal diseases running through yours, but that’s besides the point. (laughs) But, you know, you’re also an
inspiration to me Michelle. As thin as you have become, one area has stayed the same, unchanged. It’s a Hanuka miracle, baruch hashem. Oh my goodness, Fortune, you also know
about playing second-fiddle, you’ve been playing bull
(bleep) to Chelsea Handler’s alcoholic WASPs for ages now. (laughs) Now Michelle, I have to congratulate you, on really being able to take the piss, just ask the UK Men’s Water Polo team. – Okay? – She loves water sports, she loves the UK, and we love you mama. Thank you ladies and gentlemen, it’s been real, good night everybody (crowd applauds) (somber music) (people sobbing) – Well I just hope Lady
Bunny’s in a better place. – Trust me, she is. I’ve seen her apartment. Friends and loved ones. To pay tribute to the Lady Bunny, please welcome Monet X’Change. (laughter) – Dearly beloved, we
are gathered here today to celebrate the life,
liberty, and illiteracy of our dear friend, Lady Bunny. (laughter) Many know her as Lady Bunny, but I like to go by her
original drag name, Mafoozallah. (laughter) Or as they know her down at the clinic, patient zero. (laughter) She was often called the Beyonce of drag. Not because she was rich
and beautiful or famous, but because she looked like
she was carrying twins. (laughter) Look at that big bloated
bitch in that box. (laughter) Have you ever seen her out of drag? Anybody? Category is Ben Franklin
(bleep) the Michelin Man. (laughter)
Amen. You know, this reminds me of a story when we all went on tour. Bunny expressed that she
wanted to eat a little Mexican. Poor little Valentina
didn’t stand a chance. (crowd laughs) (RuPaul laughs) – Thank you all for being here, for me. In my time of need. I cracked a nail, and these are french-tipped. Bunny is dead. I personally blame Ru! (audience gasps) She created this mess. But I understand. Everyone needs that one ugly friend. Isn’t that right Valentina? She’s ugly on the inside. (crowd oohs) Bunny does have that
“special” kind of face. Whew, hoo, hoo, hoo. Doctors use a picture of her, to solve Viagra users with. To solve Viagra users with
erections lasting longer than four hours. – Is this the same
Trinity from Snatch Game? – Which they would’ve solved
that joke bitch, whew. – Trinity should’ve just
brought Caitlyn Jenner back to do this Roast. – Praise the lord saint. I said praise the lord saint. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dearly beloved, we’re
gathered here today with heavy hearts, and with full indigestion, over our dear sister’s departure. The big bitch. The big bitch Lady named Bunny. Come on sing it with me, yeah. ♪ Eeeyeah ♪ ♪ She a ho ♪ ♪ I’m reminded of the story ♪ ♪ Of Jonah and the Whale ♪ ♪ And how Jonah was goin’ get out ♪ ♪ Of this big beached whale right here ♪ ♪ And I do believe from all the (bleep) ♪ ♪ She has taken ♪ ♪ She might even be a sperm whale ♪ ♪ So my question to you tonight ♪ ♪ Jonah ♪ ♪ Jonah ♪ ♪ Can you feel me? ♪ Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah. – Church lady singing, okay. I will laugh at anything
that’s silly and funny. But I didn’t get the jokes. Girl, I am lost and I’m huh? – Hallelujah. – Alright, let’s get into this. Ah, we are here to honor
someone who had no problem offending literally everybody. And I think came with confidence. And confidence comes with age, and we know how the bitch died. From old, old, old, old, old, old age! Ah, gosh. Could you imagine being born in a time with no Nintendo 64? (crickets chirping) And it’s really cute to me that Ru, you and Lady Bunny went
to the same woodchuck to get your teeth done. But, that’s who you go to in 1832. (laughs) – It’s very awkward to
see Naomi bomb like this. What is really making this weird, is girl, laughing at her awkward pauses
and her awkward jokes. She says a joke and is like, ha ha ha. It’s like (laughs) that
makes it even worse. (laughs) – Oh Bunny. (crowd chuckles) Rest in peace Lady Bunny. Oh, Ru this is a funeral god dammit! What part of mourning
don’t you understand?! I’d like to keep them on please. Mother, may I? – No. (Trinity laughs loudly) – Oh gosh, I was running
late and didn’t have time to finish my god damned eyes. – Remember the joke? Mkay. – Lady Bunny is an inbred pig in a wig. Can’t you just see her now, with the big juicy red apple in her mouth? And Satan’s finger up her ass? (RuPaul laughs) – It’s like a car wreck, you just can’t look away from. You’re like… Mmhmm. – Lady Bunny is such a whore, her sphincter ripped, and she’s been using her
dentureless gums ever since. (somber organ music) – Oh! (laughter) Dearly beloved, and Michelle Visage! (intense music) (laughter) At least our poor Lady
Bunny met her fateful demise doing something she loved, when she choked to death
at a hotdog eating contest. (laughter) When the doctors performed the autopsy, they found that she was full of semen, and the aircraft carrier
that they served on. (laughter) Here I have Lady Bunny’s
last will and testicle. (laughter) To Trinity the Tuck, the Lady Bunny has left her
biggest synthetic wig to you, that she melted down so
you can inject it directly into your ass. (laughter) Monique Heart, Lady Bunny leaves you her crusty, dusty old lashes, because she thought you’d
needed a newer pair. (laughter) Valentina, Lady Bunny wanted you to know, that before she passed, she called ISC, and they’re waiting for
you after the service. (laughter) And last, but not least. To Lady Bunny’s oldest friend, RuPaul. Lady Bunny wants you to know that finally, you’re the pretty one. (laughter) Thank you guys so much for coming, and enjoying our obituary, or in her terms oh bitch, you hairy. (laughter) Thank you. (crowd applauds) (somber music)

100 thoughts on “RuPaul’s Drag Race Roasts 🔥 Supercut | Season 5, 9 & All Stars 4 | VH1”

  1. 11:40 was straight up targeting Michelle dayumnn, no one laughed because it hit her hard damn.

  2. val and trinity had the advantage of having a roast in their season. too bad they still didn’t do well. also imagine if farrah did a roast for a second time 😂💀

  3. Farrah and her so called humor came across as:I HATE MICHELLE V. There's fine line and Farrah seems to be not able to find that line same goes for Alexis . Just painful to watch.

  4. I think someone taped over that to hide Ru’s laugh because sometimes you can hear it, but she’s not moving her mouth. Idk maaaan just something I noticed

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