What are we roasting this time then? Me Me. We’re roasting me. This? Really? You think this peasant is worth my time?
He’s whiter than me for God’s sake! I don’t think I’m that bad Just give me a chance, you know. Fine, fine. Sure, I’ll roast you Enjoy your funeral peasant. So, finally, welcome back my beautiful peasants to a brand new episode of, yes, You guessed it, say it with me now, Sebastian Not you, you peasant. Shut up. Stop that. No. NO. The viewers get to do it. Not you. No, I don’t want to do it anymore. Let’s just get on with the episode. Ah, first off, let’s start off from one from wait me but not me From Mr. J. Michael Tatum. “You’ve made a name for yourself Imitating an American”. Hold the phone one second Sebastian who is being voiced by me right here who but is actually voiced by J. Michael Tatum is roasting me using my Sebastian What the fuck Well, hi Michael. How you doing? Come here often? I Will destroy you at the next convention that we go to and I will roast you. I will not forget this On to the next one “You’re alive”. Ooh! “If you were riding J. Michael Tatum’s coattails any harder, you’d be his third leg” But is that really that bad? Would you-
would you complain being his third leg? I don’t think I would So far, these roasts aren’t even affecting me. I don’t feel like you guys are even trying Let’s just go to the next one. Mortabella says, “Where do I start? When I show people your videos and they ask me what your youtube name is, I panic. I don’t want them to cease all contact with me when they see shit like you shoving a loaf of bread in your mouth, reading lemons of Thirteen-year-olds, and thumbnails of your ass.” It’s a pretty over-sized ass for a white male. I know, I know! That’s what I keep telling people! It’s a good ass Who am I kidding? It’s not a good ass. You call that a roast Mortabella? You can do better than that. Probably. We’ll never find out. It’s fine. Ooh! Mortabella with another one! “You’re so pale, I’m surprised we can’t see the camera and microphone in the reflection of your skin. Have you ever heard of this thing called, I don’t know, the sun?” Sun’s over rated. What are you- the room- I have a light on when I’m on my computer. Like, that’s all the light I need Like, the fuck is the sun? Hey Google, what’s the Sun? Well, at least that’s over with. “When I watch some of your videos, I cringe so hard I have to pause the video, stare at the screen in disbelief And ask the cosmos why it has forsaken me all while fighting the urge to smash that unsubscribe button” I’m really happy because no one has roasted how I look yet. Ooh! This is a personal one. “I’m not sure who has more spots. King Dice or you?” *cough cough* So brutal I’m not- I’m not crying, you are Gee, I’m sure glad I don’t know what the roasts are so they surprise me “Boy, with your long giraffe neck, no one knows where it starts and no one knows where it ends. You’re like a shitty anime boy only like real.” Hey, my neck is normal- normal size don’t- don’t What are you on about? What- What are you saying? My neck is not- My neck is normal size! I’m telling you, ok! I think I’m handling these pretty well right now. So, let’s go to the next one. “You’re an outdated, washed-up VA whose fan-base consists primarily of 13 to 18 year old fangirls” Yes, you’re really the only one who has that demographic of viewership *Snaps* “You’ve been reduced to a mediocre impressionist who gets by by reading horrific fan fictions about whatever Characters you decide to voice at that moment. I’m surprised you’ve lasted this long doing YouTube. With content like yours, I’m shocked that someone hasn’t stolen the spotlight from you” I have not made a single try not to laugh challenge, so I think I’m doing pretty well for myself. Thank you “You’ve definitely got a voice and face fit for radio” Oh CDawg, if only you had a face like myself Then you could say stupid shit like, “I’m simply one hell of a butler” all the time and nobody would question it I’m pretty too! I’m a pretty anime boy (Voice Crack) Would you like to join the host club? Yeah I would, I really would What have you got for me now, then? “You’re like Michaela Laws. If she was a man and a lot less talented.” *Wooph* I must say your voices all do sound the same Fuck you! My voices sound great. What are you on about? “If I had a dollar for every bad video you’ve made, I’d have more money from your videos than you” Fantastic. Hey hey hey, it’s not MY fault. The adpocalypse doesn’t like me. I’m Family-friendly. I’m telling you. I again would like to emphasize that I do not know which Roasts are coming next and this is all a complete surprise to me Next one. “Maybe you should have just kept the beard. Just to cover up some of that horrific Acne”. Oh, yes. I wish I- I wish I kept my beard to cover up my *pauses* horrific acne. “I Can’t. You’re so a good person.” Then let me take over for you, Grumpy. You see, CDawg, your viewers that do like you are so stupid, they can’t spell ‘you are’ or use correct punctuation. Sebastian, you shut your pretty- Pretty butt in the mouth that I want to kiss for a second. And let me- let me say something to you You’re wrong GoT hIm!!! I did it “You sound like that kid in school that has an obsession about anime and no one (but me) will be your friend. By the way, I love your videos. They make me-” Blegh! Ugh, God. They suck up to you don’t they? So what? William, William, William please. If you were kissing CDawg’s butt hole any further You could probably tell me what he had for breakfast. Aww! Aww! God! C’mon! No! Don’t say that! This is family-friendly channel! But it was lemons that I had for breakfast *Snapping Festival* I’m gonna go die in a hole now. “The amount of comments about your acne doesn’t compare to how much you actually have. Sorry Connor. Love ya.” Ugh. Bitch! No. You don’t get to insult my face and then say you love me. Either love my acne Or you hate it. I hate It but it’s on my face, so I kind of have no choice. I just gotta live with it so “You’re so British. It makes me want to throw tea off boats.” nO! Anything but the tea. AnYtHiNg bUt tHe tEa!! “You look like a stepdad who has no food in his cupboards due to him not knowing what cooking it” mm-hmm-hmm That makes sense. I agree. I agree. “You’re so gay that you’re actually straight.” Completely agree! 100% truth! I like it! That’s the new motto! New channel motto! “I would roast you, but my mom said not to burn trash.” *oogh* You just say that you’re fine. You’re not *Random Gibberish* “Your butt is all you have going for yourself.” I don’t wanna brag, but I mean, it’s a pretty good butt. You know. Bitch, have you even seen my ass? Sebastian, please, everyone’s always Getting horny over you just give me this one- this one win man. Please. Well, that was an interesting episode of ‘Sebastian Roasts’. I hope you enjoyed it. If you liked it, hit that subscribe button and the little bell thingy because that’s what all the Youtubers are saying and like the video please cuz I need money *eeh haya* I would also like to take a quick moment to thank my wonderful patrons Who are keeping this channel alive and allowing me to keep making these videos. I’m excited for what 2018 has to offer and I know that we’re gonna grow a shit ton and make the best weeb content There is my dudes. DaB!1!1!1 Thank you very much to Larissa Michaelis, Nexus Portal, Courtney Love, Alison in Wonderland, CLL pH, Eleanor at wit’s end, Thomas Olsen, green Ella Saturday, Audrey Wonderland and more to Bella growl Sutcliffe Reva Orianna Eve Hallows Christine Amanda Ober Kyle and Jenga power, thank you guys very much for keeping this channel alive and being fucking awesome I love you guys. Have a fantastic time. I will see you beautiful weebs next time. I do it for the love of the love. Yes. I do so you don’t care about the money. Well yes it’s true, and I’m so blessed to be fulfilling my destiny on the