– Rob wrote a memoir called, Stories I Only Tell My Friends. Chapter one, the day I fucked your wife. (laughs loudly) You’re almost up. Despite all the insane jokes you’ve heard about Rob, he’s actually had a great career,…
Tag: stand up videos
Roast of Justin Bieber – Chris D’Elia – Most Hated Video – Uncensored
Babyis the most hated video online, like, statistically if you check that shit out, okay, and there are also ISIS videos online, okay? That means that someone saw a video with a guy screaming, “Death to America” and sawing someone’s…
Donald Trump Drops An F-Bomb
THIS DAIS IS THE PERFECT METAPHOR FOR WHERE AMERICA STANDS TODAY. LOOK AT OUR ECONOMY. BARELY MOVING, GASPING FOR AIR, AND DESPERATELY CLINGING TO LIFE. VERY MUCH LIKE LARRY KING. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS, WITH LARRY, WE HAVE A NEVER-ENDING…
Roast Battle – Ralphie May vs. Mike Lawrence
You know, the roughest part of Ralphie’s divorce was getting the ring off his finger. [ Laughter ] [ Explosion ] Told you. [ Siren wails ] Mike reminds me of Pepé Le Pew from the “Looney Tunes” cartoons. He…
Roast of Justin Bieber – Ron Burgundy – A Star-Studded Evening – Uncensored
Listen, people. Listen, listen. I don’t have a lot of time, all right? I don’t have a lot of time. I’m currently over at stage 24 hosting Spike TV’s “Your Mother’s a Fat Bitch” awards show. Some real clever writing,…
Roast Battle II: L.A. Regionals Pt. 1 – The Fight for Orange County – Uncensored
– Let’s roast! [bell dinging] – Keith only uses lambskin condoms because after sex, he enjoys a snack. [laughter] – Anna’s just jealous because my body is shaped like the eggs she can no longer produce. [laughter] – Keith just…
Roast of Rob Lowe – Behind the Scenes – Roast Master David Spade Takes Aim
– Hi, I’m Rob Lowe. – We’re here at the promo shoot right now where Rob’s getting all dolled up to help promote his own tongue lashing. – You know, people talk about honors in this town. Golden Globes, the…
Roast Battle – Jimmy Carr vs. Christi Chiello
I WAS GOING TO TALK ABOUT CHRISTI’S CAREER, BUT IT’S LIKE TRYING TO PUNCH FOG. THERE’S NOTHING THERE. THERE’S NOTHING. THERE ARE ISIS SLEEPER CELLS WITH HIGHER PROFILES. I LOOKED HER UP ON THE INTERNET, AND GOOGLE SAID, “ME EITHER.”…
Roast of Justin Bieber – Hannibal Buress – Not a Big Fan
And now the man of the hour. Justin Bieber, you dainty wigger, you. Justin Bieber. They say that you roast the ones you love, but I don’t like you at all, man. I’m just here ’cause this is a real…
Roast of Justin Bieber – Justin Bieber – Let’s Get Serious
Really, let’s get serious for a second. There was really no preparing me for this life. I was thrown into this at 12 years old, and I didn’t really know what I was getting myself into. There’s been moments I’m…