TikTok Spying Fears, Updated “Alphabet Song” & A Case of Auto-Brewery Syndrome | The Daily Show

TikTok Spying Fears, Updated “Alphabet Song” & A Case of Auto-Brewery Syndrome | The Daily Show

TikTok. It’s the short video app
for people who were bored
before the end of the sentence. But now, Congress is worried that although
the videos might be short, the consequences could last
for a long time. WOMAN: The app that’s taken
teenagers by storm, TikTok, now facing a storm
of a different kind– accused of posing
a possible security risk. With more than 500 million
active accounts around the world, now all eyes are
on the people behind the app. Two top senators targeting
the Chinese tech company that owns TikTok. In a letter to the director
of national intelligence, asking for an investigation
into TikTok and other
Chinese-based companies, warning they may pose
a national security risk. This is a threat
to American security. When China has data
on 110 million Americans, who knows what they do with it? That’s right.
Chuck Schumer wants to launch an investigation
into TikTok. But I feel like
he’s just doing this so he can have someone come
to Congress to explain what TikTok is. He’s like, “I tried
to subpoena my granddaughter, “but she never returns my calls. Never returns my calls.” But for real, it would…
it would be very serious if the Chinese can use TikTok
for spying, because, I mean,
with this information, China can learn of all of
America’s dance moves, you know? They’re just gonna be
figuring it all out. They’re like, “Yeah. Oh, yeah,
we figured it all out.” That’s the thing
that’s kept the U.S. ahead of China all this time. China’s there like,
“We have nuclear weapons “and 5G, but we can’t figure out
how to hit the ‘Woah.’ When do you lock?! Oh!” And keep in mind–
TikTok is, like, 90% teenagers. So I’m not worried that China is
watching me when I’m there. I’m more worried that the dude from Catch a Predator
is gonna pop up and be like, “Trevor,
what are you doing here?” “I’m just here for the memes! I’m just here
for the memes! I swear!” And can we agree
on something, people? At this point,
let’s just agree that every app is spying on us,
okay? Just work under that assumption. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter–
they’re all watching us. The only app that somehow
doesn’t know your location is Uber.
That is the only one. -(laughter)
-For some strange reason, they just can’t figure it out. (applause and cheering) All right, moving on. If you are a young child
just learning the alphabet, first of all,
please stop watching this show. Uh, seriously, I might say
(bleep) at any time. And, also, it turns out
you’ve been doing it all wrong. The new alphabet song
that’s getting mixed reviews. Yeah, you can say that. This version aims to get rid
of the infamous “L-M-N-O-P” and make it clearer for kids.
Take a listen. ♪ A, B, C, D, E, F, G ♪ ♪ H, I, J, K, L, M, N ♪ ♪ O, P, Q, R… ♪ (audience booing) (laughter) Oh… no. First of all, no. Secondly, hell, no. (laughter) And third, this new Kanye album
is a real departure. (laughter) It went real weird. Who is this for?
Who is this for? Because if my kid can’t
figure out “L-M-N-O-P,” I don’t want to make it easier
for them. I just want to know
as soon as possible so I can stop saving up
for their college. I just want to know. I don’t want to waste my money. I mean, at some point, even
as a kid, you would figure out that “L-M-N-O-P” are separate
letters in the alphabet, right? There’s no 40-year-old
who’s out there who’s just like, “Excuse me. For the Wi-Fi, “is it upper case
‘L-M-N-O-P’ or, uh…? ‘Cause it keeps saying
‘password incorrect.'” (laughter) All right, and finally,
here’s a great new excuse for drunk drivers to try. WOMAN: An Ohio man was
pulled over for drunk driving, and a blood test revealed
he had twice the legal amount of alcohol in his system,
but the driver swore to police he didn’t have anything
to drink, and turns out,
he was telling truth. Doctors say that man has
a rare medical condition that turns yeast in your gut
into alcohol. It’s called
“Auto-brewery syndrome.” (laughter, groaning) Auto-brewery syndrome. That is the coolest disease…
I’ve ever heard of. Like, essentially, when this guy
eats carbs, inside his stomach, a team of tiny hipsters
turns it into beer. That’s what’s happening,
you realize that, right? And obviously, I’m sure
there are downsides to this. Like, for one,
he could never run a marathon, ’cause it’s gonna be like,
“Oh, I got a carbo load.” And all of a sudden it’s like, “Actually,
I’m gonna skip the race, ’cause, bitch, I need to dance!” (laughter)

100 thoughts on “TikTok Spying Fears, Updated “Alphabet Song” & A Case of Auto-Brewery Syndrome | The Daily Show”

  1. Jesus trevor… your always on point and u are sharp at mostly everything. That tik tok shii is funny and all but I can tell u really didn't get the dancer of it. It ain't just dances and stupid videos

  2. We Europeans worry what happens with our data when using US based services. The US hasn’t a great reputation on not sharing everything with their secret intelligence agencies!

  3. I fall in love with you more and more every single time I watch your video's 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣 "H" to the laughing off my a$$ R-eee Ous 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  4. The don fking use ittttt also facebook has all your info so does the rest of corporate america omg everyone is selling everyone’s info don be lameeee

  5. The US Congress doesn't care about all the data that US tech companies have on people in other countries, they're just pissed that a country other than the US has some power now.

  6. Penelope has entered the chat.

    Elemental Pee has entered the chat.

    El Amnino P has entered the chat.

    Are you really still reading these?

  7. is Tik Tok some dumb thing for retards who like to watch other retards dance, or can I see underaged nude girls and people using drugs too?

  8. Wait, you mean some American politicians are freaking about about Tik-Tok, calling it a "national security risk" because Tik-Tok "collects data from its users and their devices including user content and communications, IP address, location-related data, device identifiers, cookies, metadata, and other sensitive personal information."?

    Does that quote in the above paragraph sound familiar to any other Americans here? Because I'm about 96% certain that exact statement also applies to nearly every single American ISP, cellular provider, popular social network, game, app, Google itself, grocery store savings club, etc.

    So when the US does it, it's "necessary and harmless data collection" but now that you know China is doing it for you (and storing all the information in the US,) suddenly it's "spying"?

    Make up your fucking mind.

    Either China is overstepping our rights by spying on us AND you are also, or you're innocently collecting non-threatening data AND China is also.

    You can't have it both ways, Uncle Sam.

  9. It's the simple fact that these apps require access to everything in your phones. Sooooo, anything that is seen can be used later on in life as leverage. Look deeper than how dumb it sounds people

  10. Next thing you know there's a tweet from the president coming "The do nothing Democrats are trying to lmnopate due proces on the hoax investiagtoin! No colusion no ovstuction! With hunt!"

  11. Who is that alphabet song for? definitely not English speakers who thinks the world only revolves around them. You know there are OTHER countries where the people doesn't speak English as their main language right? There are also countries that GASP DOESN'T USE THE ALPHABET??? Whoaaaaaaa *mindblown*. This version has been taught in my country for ages(I'm Indonesian) and now that I'm teaching English for Japanese I also use this version because for non native English speakers it HELPS. Also, you do realize in America, there are a lot of people and children who are not fluent in English yet, right??? Just because it's not something you're used to, doesn't mean it's crap, it just meant, it's not for you, if you don't like it, then don't listen. No need to crapping about a version that actually taught in other parts of the world to help the non English speakers.

  12. Auto brewery syndrome is not an illness.
    It is a blessing.
    Boss giving you ish. Eat some bread. Day is instantly better.
    Wife tripping about something? Eat a Snickers and enjoy the ride.

  13. They really could have prolonged the O if they insist on changing it, because it maintains the flow of the song and slows down the confusing part without breaking the melody up. So ridiculous

  14. You are currently placing your lifestyle above the interest of the future.

    Why don't you just start denying climate change while you're at it?

  15. LMAO I just laugh every time the US makes an allegation that another nation is spying on people.

  16. Actually that is the way Japanese kids learn the 'ABC's.' I know because I have been living and teaching in Japan for nearly 17 years. So, it's not so weird as it is just different.

  17. Lol, that's actually how I learned English when I was a kid back in Korea. Didn't know that the original Alphabet Song was different until today!

  18. I would say all alphabet songs in China are separating lmnop in the way like this. lol…
    When I came to US and heard the real alphabet song, I was like: what?

  19. I never included the P as a child…for me it was H, I, J, K, Elemeno, P, Q…
    But it was a great day when I figured out that elemeno was four letters. Why would we want to deny our children that experience?

  20. It's the best chance … chance … chance. Democrats sought out a peer group to support them and they found comedians. Comedians understand Democrats because both groups are a joke …. and one good laugh deserves another.

  21. I know the alphabet up to ABCDEFGHI don't know the rest never cared never stop me from writing
    boss this is all Google writing with auto correct who cares 😂

  22. Shit tok, for retards, pedophiles, and whores like Delphine to waste their time and be all in one place
    Now where did I put away Lucille #BanTikTok
    And I say lm-NOPE to that buuuuuuuullshit
    Ah there you are Lucille you must be thirsty, let's find that retard who can say the alpha-bet right 😈🤣


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