[rock music] Martina: This is an absolutely unbelievable city. So when you’re looking up your trip to come to Kyoto, there’s tonnes of information already available about the tourist locations, so you really don’t need our help with that. Simon: None. M: What we wanna do with this video is show you guys some of the stuff that’s off the beaten path but still really popular with the locals. S: People come to Kyoto for sightseeing, we come to Kyoto for food. And ducks. M: Let’s show everyone the ducks. S: You think we’re lying about the ducks? M: Look at this. S: Do you see all these ducks? M: Look at them. S: This is what we had to – M: How could we focus? S: How could we focus with all these ducks? M: Look at them – look at them. They’re like, ‘walk-swimming’. [guitar music] M: We are here at ‘Sukemasa’ for delicious gyoza. S: YES! M: And these are special Kyoto-style gyoza. S: YES! M: I love all types of dumplings. S: I f*cking (baa) love dumplings. M: You’re so excited. S: *laughs* YES! M: *laughs* Okay, let’s go. S: LET’S GO! [Mozart’s Eine Kleine Nachtmusik] S: There’s very important positioning when it comes to a gyoza restaurant. “He who is closest to the chopsticks is the one with power.” Martina and Dan have no chopsticks. Only I can eat their food. M: That’s how you take power away from someone who holds the chopstick power. “He who has weak finger grip…” S: For the next time, I’m not gonna say my plan out loud. (Martina laughs) [synth music] S: So there are three things you are looking for in a good gyoza. Number one: there’s a really nice crispiness on the skin. You don’t want it to be so burnt that you can’t bite your teeth through it, it has to have a nice crunch. This place gets it right. Other two things you need: inside, if it’s too watery, it’s a bad thing; you can burn your lips, terrible idea. If it’s too dry, it’s not satisfying. You need the right balance of moist and dry. What?! M: You said the word ‘moist’. Eew. This is lovely. S: This definitely has a different seasoning in it. M: I think it actually has a miso soup base inside, they were saying. Local cabbage, local green onions, it’s really fresh and magical tasting. They recommend you try this on its own and then you try it with the side sauces. S: Let’s bring some sauces out. M: Let’s sauce it up. S: Now by all means you can have the gyoza by itself but my favourite combination is if you take some of the pepper, sprinkle that on your rice, ’cause the pepper has some lemongrass, put some of the chilli oil in the soy sauce. The chilli oil also has a vinegar, and that vinegar, that tartness, cuts the oiliness of the meat inside of the gyoza. It’s just a perfect harmony of everything. Dumpling, sauce, bite. M: Mouth, tummy. S: Oh, man. M: That’s nice. I love dumplings. [horn & kazoo effect] *Dan laughs* Dan: Got that. [synth misuc] M: Look at us, standing around in an empty alleyway. What are we doing here. Aren’t we in Kyoto? S: We are going for some amazing coffee here at ‘Elephant Factory Coffee’. M: If you’re into coffee, which we are, this is the place to go. People in Kyoto know that this place is amazing. Now we’re gonna trek to the second floor. S & M: Uhhh. S: Stairs. S: This pleases me so profusely. This is such a painfully hipster place. I’m in seventh heaven here. M: We’re whispering because it’s so quiet in here. I’m so hyped about this because you know I love coffee. S: Uhuh. M: And I looked through all the hipster pages on the internet to find what is the best coffee shop to come to in Kyoto. S: You didn’t even look on the internet. You found them written on the back of postcards – M: In my heart. – scattered throughout the city. We had to make it together as a puzzle to find this place. M: The important part is that these beans are sent only twice a week from a roast master who lives in Hokkaido. He sends it to Kyoto and they grind them fresh, whatever one you pick, and they hand drip your coffee, and they’re also famous for their mini cheesecake piece. So we’re gonna sit here and enjoy magic coffee and magic cheesecake. [orchestral music] S & M: (sing) //Martina-san, Martina-san, sugi-sugi…// S: Now, I have some qualms here with the idea of the mini cheesecake because this ‘mini cheesecake’ is just a really stingy cut of cheesecake. M: It is not. It’s very dense. Eat it. It’s supposed to be delicious. S: Mmm… M: Do you get it now? S: So so so so so. M: Yep, that’s a good, dense, cheesecake. [cicadas chirp] M: *whispers* It actually got quieter in here, if that’s possible. S: *whispers* Did they turn off the music? M: And now we have to communicate using our brains. S: I’m not. [cicadas chirp] [music in cafe starts] D: *laughs* [electronica music] M: AH! We found the ‘CUMR Food Truck’. S: This was pure accident. We were just walking and we found this truck. We read about it, and I can’t believe we stumbled on it. M: We were so excited to find this truck originally because there’s actually a bunch of little tiny indie beer shops here, and this truck appears, and I was like, “It would be amazing to have their hand-formed pizza.” How can you have a wood-burning stove in a food truck? S: Yup. M: Oh, guess what? You can. The flour is made from flour from Hokkaido. S: Yup. M: Okay. Let’s enjoy a slice of pizza while it’s hot – S: Okay. – and then we’re gonna tell you guys a little bit about the CUMR truck afterwards. *Simon groans* M: Oh my god. S: The CUMR truck sounds like Benedict Cumber-truck. M: (sarcastically) Good one, Simon. *Simon laughs* S: Mmm. That is some fantastic olive oil on there. M: Mmhmm, mmhmm. S: OH. M: Oh my god. Tomato sauce is seasoned beautifully. S: Mmm. M: The food truck goes to different events in Kyoto. So they go to a farmers market. This is actually a coffee event right now with all these different coffee shops here. Hand-dripped coffees inside of an old-looking school. It’s so painfully hipster and magical but you’ll notice, no tourists here. S: Mmhmm. M: No tourists here. Nothing wrong with tourists. It just gets a bit crowded. [piano music] S: A nice, warm, pizza on a cold fall day in Kyoto . M: Mmm. S: This is divine. [rock music] M: Aah. If you guys have had a day anything like our day, Kyoto is pretty exhausting. You’re, like, wandering around all these different places, taking in all these things – S: Being bumped by SO MANY tourists. There are A LOT of tourists here now. M: Yes, and that includes US. *laughs* We are one of those people bumping into you. S: What you me – we LIVE in Japan. M: But we don’t live in Kyoto so we’re technically tourists. S: Aren’t we tourists on this world? M: Alright, just drink your beer. This place is awesome. This is ‘Beer Komachi’. It has local Kyoto beers on tap. They’ve got great finger food, both Japanese and foreign, and it’s just a really nice, chill place to go. S: And it has this nice little anti-social corner where we can just hide here and, like, not talk to anybody. *Martina tuts* I’m so tired. M: I just wanna drink my beer. S: I’m so tired. M: And kick all your butts at gin rummy. [[drinking game]]. Whut?! You’re going down, Simon. You’re going down, Dan. You’re all going down. [rock music] [birds chirp] S: Okay, guys. This might seem silly but I just bought a lot of bread. This bread is some of the best bread – no – not some of, it’s THE best bread I’ve ever had in my entire life. The guy who made this bread decided that he wanted to put together a croissant and a danish. It’s called ‘Boloniya’. M: What is this strange name? S: I don’t know why it’s called ‘boloniya’. Sweet mercy, can you see? That’s a croissant crust on – M: Wait. I’m coming in. (Martina sings something) Oh, you just… S: OH MY GOD. It’s so buttery. M: You’re moving too much. S: It’s just so – it’s so buttery. And amazing. M: Rotate the edges for me. S: Can you see? M: Oh yeah. S: Bread has never been this good. This is the best slice of bread. No butter, no jam. Just perfect bread. M: You’re eating all the bread, aren’t you? This is gonna be like the orange KitKats, isn’t it? S: (with food in mouth) Go talk more about Kyoto. [light rock music] [battle music] S: Ohh. [synth music] M: This has been a wonderful week in Kyoto. We didn’t even get to do all the things we wanted to do. S: No. M: No. It’s just so distracting. You start walking around and then you wander down a side street and you’re like, “Haaaa… look at this street! Look at this cobblestone! Look at the all those DUCKS!” S: And we just found lots of places which we just forgot to bring our cameras that are amazing. *Martina laughs* S: The ramen here is stupid good. M: If you guys want to visit any of the places that we went to, we’re going to put links to them in our blog post so you can figure out how to get there. Other than that, come to Kyoto and explore it. Don’t necessarily, like, follow a tourist location schedule. S: Yup. M: You’re gonna miss out on all the stuff in between. And play ‘Alone in Kyoto’ with Air in your headphones. (Simon and Martina sing melody) M: (singing) //Copywritten. We can sing it.// //because it sounds so bad…// S: Oh, ducky. M: Let’s live under this bridge. S: Right there. It’s a really pretty bridge. M: People will feed me bread. S & M: LIKE DUCKS! *SImon and Martina laugh* S: No one’s feeding those ducks bread. We can’t feed them that good bread. It’s too good. M: Although we could eat that bread.